05/27/2025
It is devastating to hear that your best friend is in the hospital, and is dying.... And it's also refreshing to realize that you've made gratitude be a skill... a reflex... That when it's time to say goodbye, you realize that despite the tears and the pain, at least you got to say goodbye.
Read this all the way to the end... it's worth it.
My friend, Michael Slater, is an odd character. He's a gruff, twitchy, and thuggish.... And yet, I've taken the time to get past my reflexes, and get to know this rare gem of a person, and his life is a beautiful canvas of stories. Many of them are sad, which is why these days he was a healer.
He's taken me in many times when I had no one and nothing, and needed sanctuary. He hated Christmas and his birthday, as they reminded him of a life in the USA that he couldn't go back to, and amplified his loneliness. I have made it a tradition to travel back to Mexico and spend the holidays with him, so that he didn't have to be alone.
A few weeks ago he was alone again. In the hospital, getting his gall bladder removed... This is a few days after a root canal, and also finding out that the sharp pain in his leg is gout. And these were not the worst of his conditions. And while they hurt, I'd say that they were not the worst of his pain.
When I called him last night, and he told me he's in the hospital, and he's dying, my mind quickly went to: what is there to say? The first thing I knew was that he would want to be remembered... not laying there in a hospital, inaudibly mumbling... but as the formidable warrior that he once was. The stories that he lived. And so, I said I'd call him right back, and I did, but this time from Whatsapp on my computer, where I could at least record his last words.
"What are you dying of???"
*cough*
*goran*
"Clots...." *cough* "Blood cloots"
"There's nothing they can do?"
"No" he hissed out, ever so briefly.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooo" - I wipe away a big tear "Noo! This can't be how you go out! That's not your style, that's not what you do! You *always* cheat death! You even have a deal with the devil!"
*gasp* *cough*
"Well.... at least you got in touch with your daughter before your time was up. At least Kalli got to find out how much you love her. I'll get in touch with her, and let her know. Are there any last words? Anything you want to say to anyone? Messages you want me to relay?"
He told me one last thing, which .... as you can imagine, made me very emotional.
I was grateful that I had spent the time making my live streaming setup for The Ori Stories, so at least I could record this last conversation.
Sure, some people would cringe "Oh my god, he's dying, and you put him on your show?" - but it wasn't like that... it was the best, and fastest way to record last words, especially in a panic, and with no notice... because... you don't get notice in a situation like this.
And... that's the thing, my show is an emotional roller coaster... it's authentic, transparent, and vulnerable, and I'm not concerned about how people will judge me for living life on my terms. It's quite often that I've done the thing that's not the societal norm.
What I've been learning very recently is that the things people are most fascinated by, and find the most value in, are the things that I am scared to share. The things that are so personal.
And that's what I'm doing here. I'm telling you what happened, despite the concerns of how I will be judged.
I had asked him if I could stay on until he or the battery died. And before that I had asked if he wanted to hear anything - any stories, any jokes, .... I ran my mental checklist - I had told him the things that were important, I love him, he's made a difference in my life, he's not alone, his daughter knows about him and how much he loves her. I checked if he wanted to tell any of his stories, since I was recording on my show recorder.... I knew he didn't have the energy to, because.... because he couldn't finish a single sentence, and more than once I thought that it was already over, as he lay there motionless. "Maybe you want to tell the story of Tweaky Bird?"
Again, he moved a tiny bit. I didn't know how long this lasts.
"What's next?"
"They... They turn off the machine."
"And then you die? Did they tell you when that is? You know how long you've got?" (I hate to admit, I started to think about how many hours I had left to finish this latest client painting that I should get back to. We covered all the things that should be said.).
I reflected on our adventures together. So many bizarre ones. I was crushed that he wouldn't get to see my podcast rise to the top, or that he wouldn't get to be a guest on it... Though, I guess.... now, he will, since it was the first thing I recorded on my new "The Ori Stories" overlays, and so he did get his brief appearance on the show. At least *MY* audio was pretty good. I could barely understand any of his mumbles though.
I'm sharing, because I vowed that I would share the hard stuff. But, I can't type any more... I am emotional about the whole thing. It was a very difficult call to have, and I can only hope that I took the correct actions.
I told him that he would live on in my graphic novel Ori's Odyssey. And I know in my heart that that will make him happy. I know how to capture him, how he would want to be portrayed, and how he'd want his story told.
He was a guy that experienced a lot of pain, and he was tough... but underneath that exterior, he has a giant heart. He was generous. He was a defender for those who couldn't look after themselves. He was a shaman, a healer, and a guardian of forbidden knowledge, and two awesome dogs.... and he's the one who gave me my amazing angel of a dog.
I'll definitely be sharing this call on the show, at some point. But it's crazy that I've captured something so significant before I even have episode 1 completed and released.
That last thing he said to me did, as I earlier said, add to my already intense emotions... He told me "I'm not dying."
Well... if that little s**t wasn't dying before, I'm pretty sure my boot going up his ass next time I see him is going to do the trick! But,... As Cinderella says in that song "Don't know what you got... till it's gone...." - so, I'm more grateful to have a gruff as***le in my life, than to have just silence and memories.
You'll see much more of Slater on this show.
