Jennings County's Granny Punkbuster

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North Vernon, IN
Jennings County's Granny Punkbuster

Well, bless your heart! If you like sharp talk, small-town tales and a little mischief, you’re in the right place. Stay awhile and listen, sugar!

From the sheriff’s antics to Twitchy McTweak’s pancake debates, there’s always a story. Blocking isn’t censorship — it’s moderation of stupidity. This page shuts down propaganda, distraction tactics, and grown adults acting like playground bullies with Wi-Fi, especially officials and their tagalongs playing word games to mislead the public. Act like an adult. Pretend decorum matters. Stick to fact

s, skip the fallacies, and leave the grade school antics at the door. If a professional peer would cringe at your behavior, don’t bring it here. This Page Blocks Bullsh*t. No Refunds. No Apologies. Try Being Useful instead of a malignance. Again, just in case.. If you’re just here to derail, deflect, or dump nonsense, take it elsewhere. Warning: Satire heavy. If you're mad, you're probably taking it too seriously, likely because you're an overly uptight public servant or just plain stupid. Probably the latter or both really. Content on this page is for entertainment purposes only unless directly stated otherwise. No authorized use, reposting, or modification of our content will ever be given. Doing so will make you liable for any legal repercussions.

08/12/2025

CITY OF TINYDILL
ORDINANCE NO. 99-Z
The Grand Canine Limitation and Citizen Humility Decree

By Proclamation of His Immensely Honored Worship, Mr. TinyDill, Mayor & Pickled Dog Czar of TinyDill

LET IT BE KNOWN, that the canine population has run amok, much like the thistle forests overtaking our city properties, and that the peasant citizens must now be brought to heel.

ARTICLE I – The Holy Quota

No household, hovel, or double-wide within the noble boundaries of TinyDill shall harbor more than three (3) dogs, be they mutts, mongrels, purebreds or beasts of questionable lineage.

Any person caught exceeding this quota without permission shall be deemed a Dog Hoarder of Ill Repute and subject to public scolding and must apply for a city approved kennel license.

ARTICLE II – Petition for Surplus Canines

Those wishing to exceed the sacred three-dog limit are required to present themselves at City Hall (second floor, past the mop bucket that smells faintly of regret) on the third Tuesday of each month at exactly 6:03 a.m., prepared to recite the Oath of Responsible Dog Ownership while maintaining unblinking eye contact with the Council’s most judgmental wife.

Required offerings for consideration:

One smoked ham of acceptable girth.

Three jars of Mrs. TinyDill brand bread-and-butter pickles (store-bought submissions will result in immediate denial).

A “song of loyalty” performed on either banjo or kazoo.

The City Dog Board, coincidentally chaired by Mrs. TinyDill and her two cousins, will deliberate in secret for a minimum of twenty days or until the ham is gone, whichever comes first.

ARTICLE III – Licensing Fees

The Surplus Dog Kennel License shall require the following tribute:

Base Fee – $47.12 per pound of excess hound, or equivalent in uncirculated Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

Municipal Courage Fund – $17.76, to replenish the bravery of Code Enforcement officers tasked with paw patrol of peasantry.

Squeaky Toy Disposal Levy – $14.03, for safe and dignified removal of retired squeaky toys from city streets.

Seasonal Bark Tax – fluctuates according to lunar cycles and the Mayor’s mood.

All fees payable in cash, gold teeth, or commemorative state quarters.

ARTICLE IV – Enforcement

Code Enforcement shall be tasked with upholding this decree, provided they can first hack their way through TinyDill’s city-owned w**d jungles, a botanical nightmare so thick it’s rumored to contain three lost mailmen and a still-functioning Blockbuster. They must also outwit the Street Department’s mythical w**d-eating crew, a band of municipal phantoms who operate on a schedule known only to the moon.

Enforcement officers are authorized to count dogs by peering through windows, vaulting fences, bribing neighborhood children with the promise of popsicles, or shaking a can of kibble until every furball within three blocks betrays its household.

Any dog suspected of being “extra” will be detained and interrogated using advanced techniques such as slow head pats, squeaky toy entrapment, and the ever-feared Treat Jar of Truth. Should the animal refuse to confess, it will be remanded to the Temporary Holding Kennel, a converted porta-potty with “World’s Best Dog” spray-painted on the side, until such time as the Dog-Lord renders judgment.

ARTICLE V – Citizen Conduct

All peasants must bow respectfully when the Mayor’s dog, Sir Barkalot III, passes by.

Speaking ill of this ordinance within earshot of any other peasant will result in a mandatory 4 hour lecture from Mrs. TinyDill about “the way things used to be.” A consulting fee of $0.99 per minute will be applied. (Subsequent violations @ $5.99 per minute)

ARTICLE VI – Effective Date
This decree shall remain in effect until the next eclipse, until the Mayor is distracted by a new hobby, or North Vernon reveals their official ordinance, whichever arrives sooner.

08/12/2025

The City Council Bobble-Head show of August 11th, 2025

“Weed wars, million-dollar bids, and a surprisingly refreshing moment from Charlie."

➼ Roll Call & Rituals
It’s 6:00 PM. The gavel drops. Most council members are seated. Bobble-Head Jarrod? Nowhere. The first vote, approving last meeting’s minutes, comes and goes quickly as reviewing them is done behind closed doors. Bobble-Head passed 4-0.

6:01 PM: Enter Jarrod, stage left, with the confidence of someone who didn’t just ghost a vote. Everyone pretends this is normal. The Republic (a subcategory of democracy for you extra specials out there) shrugs.

➼ Parks & Rec’s Budgetary Spa Day
Resolution 716-2025 is brought forth, an additional appropriation for the Parks and Rec department. Because apparently, mulch now costs the same as microchips.

Charlie (rock steady, unbothered) confirms everything was properly advertised and ready to go. Bobble-Head Jarrod, freshly seated, motions to approve it. Bobble-Head Pat seconds. Vote bobbled 5-0.

➼ Bid Reveal – Or “Math Under Duress”
Now for the main event: The North Vernon Quarry RV Park and Playground bid drama.

They say the proposals were opened at a prior meeting, with 60% scored on design, 40% on price, because clarity and logic were apparently off-duty that day.

Then the bids were supposed to be read aloud. Let’s see how that went:

Pace Contracting gets read first, with a base bid of $5,047,000, They repeated so many times in different ways it started to sound like a hypnosis chant.

Then, suddenly:

Andrew mumbles, “The pricing… 3.991.”
No company name, no details, just a mysterious figure floating in the fiscal void.

Translation for non-psychics: That was O’Mara’s bid for $3,991,000, and it got mentioned like it was a dirty little secret.

The third bid? Still missing. Probably filed under “Oops.”

Confused glances are exchanged. Pages shuffled. No one seems to know who’s winning, who’s losing, or whether they’re even holding the right documents.

Final move: punt it all to Tim Hunt and the attorney. Classic.

➼ Department Head Shrug-Off
Time for updates from the department heads:

Gary? Nope.

Robin? Nada.

Bobby? Nothing.

Norman? Absent.

Fire Chief? Busy doing fire things.

Police Chief? Complained about a lack of parking and slow paperwork for officer physicals. Very pressing stuff.

The Weeds Strike Back
A local citizen approaches the mic and drops it, figuratively.

He calls out the city for violating its own w**d ordinance, letting trails overgrow like something out of The Last of Us, while citizens are fined for a single defiant dandelion.

Gary got a nod for effort. But overall, the message was loud and clear: "Don’t fine us for tall grass when the city looks like a Nature Channel special."

➼ Halloween Plans & Pumpkin-Scented Logistics
Someone floats the idea of closing Madison Avenue for Trick-or-Treat on October 31st, expecting 5,000 mini goblins and a possible traffic apocalypse.

The mayor assures everyone he’ll reach out personally to local businesses. Translation: “We’re doing it, but I’ll act polite first.”

➼ Charlie’s Claims Breakdown – The Highlight of the Night
Now for the real MVP moment: Charlie, Clerk-Treasurer and unintentional show-stealer, intervenes moments before the mayor was about to call for a Bobble-Head passing of claims and partially breaks down the $848,450.60 in claims like a professional:

$85K to EMS – because ambulances don’t run on hugs.

$250K to CCMG – That's the Community Crossings Matching Grant.

$374K towards the new police station.

(Granny hit pause right there, checked outside for flying pigs)

Then it was suggested, insert Granny gasp... highlighting the biggest claims at each meeting (that's better than none at all at least), so the public isn’t completely left out and blind. Wild idea, right? Hopefully this forever requested bit of "General Substance" will continue to be included until they can figure out a way of including them all.

➼ Great Escape
Motion to adjourn made and bobble-headed. Meeting ends after 13 minutes.

Clerk-Treasurer Charlie Weber:🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Also, could ya fellas remember to turn closed caption on for streams? The hearing impaired sure would appreciate it.

08/11/2025

Happy Son and Daughter Day to all the kids out there, the ones we raised, the ones we claimed as our own and the ones who just keep showing up at the dinner table. You bring the noise, the laundry, the empty snack cupboards and the stories we’ll be retelling for decades.

Some of you are dreamers, some are doers, and some are still figuring out which way the can opener works. You keep us on our toes, teach us patience (or at least endurance), and remind us daily that life is best lived with a little chaos and a lot of love.

Here’s to every son and daughter, from toddlers with sticky hands to grown-ups who still call home for the “secret” family recipe. We see you, we love you, and we’re still not giving you our Netflix password.

08/08/2025

Public Service Announcement from Yours Truly:

Granny does not, repeat, does not burn her daylight squabbling with the cracked-kettle hollerin’ of extremists who couldn’t argue their way out of a wet paper bag with scissors in both hands. If your idea of discourse is stitched together with words that don’t match the zipper you’re tryin’ to pull, then bless your heart, you’ve already lost the plot.

See, verbal acrobatics require more than just flappin’ your gums and prayin’ for a point to pop out. If you can’t keep poorly educated delusions from twisting things into a reality that doesn't exist, then I’m not your audience, I’m your undertaker. And darlin’, I don’t bury with flowers. I bury with footnotes, receipts and a grin sharp enough to slice the self-righteous right outta your soapbox.

Now, if you feel that little itch, the one where you think, "I’m gonna set Granny straight," just know you’re about to be served your very own posterior on a porcelain platter, garnished with irony and slow-clapped into next week. And you’ll thank me for the lesson, because education’s free but humiliation comes with a tip jar.

So remember: speak with sense, or prepare to be turned into a cautionary tale with a punchline nobody envies.

08/08/2025

Well now, looks like ol’ LuZer Bell has declared herself the Sheriff of Civic Engagement, apparently in Jennings County you can’t just talk about government problems, you’ve gotta roll up your sleeves, grab a wrench, and fix ‘em yourself right there on Main Street.

So, by her logic:

If the water company’s gouging you, don’t complain, just hop down into the sewer with a flashlight and “improve things.”

Bad roads? Shut your yap and get out there with a bag of asphalt and a dream.

Taxes too high? March into the courthouse and start redrafting the budget between coffee breaks.

And don’t you dare get “negative” about corruption or incompetence, because that, my friends, is “self-centered.” Only constructive solutions like… what? Forming your own government in your backyard?

LuZer Bell out here acting like the town’s official Hall Monitor of Democracy, scolding folks for discussing public issues in public forums. Honey, we’re allowed to complain, it’s kind of the whole point of free speech. We don’t all need to personally weld the bridges and pave the streets to have a say in how things are run.

But hey, thanks for the lecture, LuZer. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve gotta go personally repair the national debt before bedtime.

08/08/2025

The Forever Useless Minutes of North Vernon for the Joint Meeting of the Public Board of Works and Safety and the North Vernon City Council

July 24, 2025 – 11:00 PM (but apparently also 11:00 AM, because time is just a social construct and we put zero work and no effort into minutes anyway)

Call to Order
Mayor TinyDill banged the gavel at exactly 11:00 AM, presumably so everyone could still make their noon hair appointments.

Roll Call

Mayor Shawn “Trust Me” TinyDill – Present

Bobble-Head Baron Wilder – Present (on the phone, possibly from a fishing boat)

Bobble-Head Pat Kirchner – Present (in spirit and sweat))

Attorney Larry Greathouse – Present (name suspiciously sounds like a retirement home for lawyers)

Clerk-Treasurer Charlie Weber – Present (armed with calculator and a faint sense of dread)

Approval of June 26 Minutes
Bobble-Head Pat Kirchner moved to approve without reading them (because who reads minutes? It’s not a mystery novel). Seconded by Bobble-Head Baron Wilder. Passed 3-0. Democracy in action.

ARA Invoice Approval
No action taken. Presumably because no one could remember what ARA stands for and no one wanted to Google it during the meeting.

Stage Agreement Modification
Bobble-Head Pat Kirchner moved to approve the stage agreement modification, seconded by Bobble-Head Baron. Passed 3-0. Absolutely zero public explanation given, which usually means it’s either boring or involves a city-sponsored fog machine.

CCMG Update
Tim Hunt gave an update about future changes to CCMG, which may or may not be a trail grant program, or possibly a boy band reunion. No further questions asked.

Trails Grant
Mayor TinyDill announced the city scored a $4,000,000 trails grant. City will “match” 20%, which in North Vernon terms means they’ll throw in $800,000 worth of taxpayer money plus the mayor’s personal collection of limited-edition ballpoint pens. Rumor has it some of that budget will cover:

$57,000 for “trail mood lighting” in case joggers need ambiance

$112,000 for squirrel-crossing signs hand-painted by local middle schoolers

$300,000 to import “authentic trail gravel” from an artisanal quarry in Vermont

Highway 50 Closure Issues
Mayor TinyDill moved to have Tim Hunt write a strongly worded letter to INDOT about the detour plan. Seconded by Bobble-Head Pat. Passed 3-0. Letter expected to contain at least three exclamation points and one passive-aggressive suggestion for “future collaborations.”

Other Business
None. Unless you count the unspoken plan to replace all city staplers with ergonomic, gold-plated ones.

Approval of Payroll Claims
Mayor TinyDill moved to approve payroll for July 18, 2025: $211,109.52, roughly the cost of feeding the entire city exclusively on gourmet popcorn for a year. Passed 3-0.

Approval of Claims
Bobble-Head Baron called in, moved to approve claims totaling $311,706.47 and $36,683.46, which may or may not include:

$4,500 for “emergency” decorative city hall bunting

$2,300 for the mayor’s “strategic leadership” retreat at a lakeside spa

$900 for official city council windbreaker jackets that say Boardin’ & Workin’

$18,750 for custom marble coasters engraved with the city motto, North Vernon: It’s Fine

$42,600 for a state-of-the-art squirrel relocation program (includes tiny squirrel parachutes)

$7,500 to hire a “public image consultant” whose only advice was “smile more”

$23,890 for a ceremonial gold-plated shovel to use once and then display forever in the mayor’s office

$15,300 for monogrammed traffic cones (because accidents should look classy)

$3,720 for a lifetime supply of artisanal coffee beans for the council break room

$17,500 to repair the already new fountain after an “unspecified aquatic incident” involving city staff

$88,000 for “consulting services” from the mayor’s cousin’s friend’s dog-walking business

$56,429.93 for a high-tech “Civic Engagement Center” that’s just three folding chairs, a ficus, and a Keurig

$67,000 for an official city documentary filmed entirely on VHS and narrated by a guy they met at Applebee’s

Total: $348,389.93, a sum large enough to fix actual problems, but instead lovingly invested into bunting, squirrels, and an unwatchable VHS documentary.

Adjournment
Mayor TinyDill moved to adjourn. Seconded by Bobble-Head Pat. Passed 3-0 at 11:21 AM. Total meeting time: 21 minutes, just long enough to look busy without sweating through anyone’s suit jacket.

08/08/2025

Introducing J.O.G.E. – The Only Office That Runs Entirely on Sass

Move over, FBI. Step aside, Homeland Security. The real watchdog has arrived, and she’s armed with nothing but razor-sharp eyebrows and a resting judgment face that could curdle milk.

J.O.G.E. - Judgin’ Officials & Givin’ Eyebrows - is the newly minted civilian oversight bureau tasked with making sure elected officials behave… or at least feel deeply uncomfortable when they don’t.

Equipped with a fold-out lawn chair, a thermos of coffee, and the kind of side-eye that penetrates three layers of political spin, our lead agent ("Granny Justice") will be stationed at every meeting, ribbon-cutting, and shady closed-door “lunch” between the mayor and a contractor who “just happened to be in the neighborhood.”

Services include:

Instant Eyebrow Deployment – If you so much as try to approve an expense with “miscellaneous” in the description, expect The Look™.

Verbal Harumphing – Scientifically proven to make even the most corrupt official lose their train of thought.

Sarcastic Clapping – For when you finally pass that policy you promised three elections ago.

On-the-Spot Translation – Turning government-speak into what you actually meant. (“We value transparency” → “We thought no one was watching.”)

Mission Statement:
“To keep local government honest, or at least too rattled to pull their usual shenanigans.”

Remember: corrupt politicians fear audits, subpoenas, and J.O.G.E.’s trademark double eyebrow raise. And the best part? This office is completely not taxpayer-funded… in the sense that it’s just one sassy lady who shows up uninvited.

08/08/2025

Well ain’t that precious! I mean, look at you, finally “compliant.” How fresh. How thrilling. A whole forever late, like a kid turning in homework after summer break. And no, you don’t get a gold star, you get the side-eye and a slow clap, ’cause you only did it after being told, like toddlers who just discovered the concept of having to follow rules.

08/06/2025

Figured I'd go back and start comparing minutes to the videos of those meetings. First one and already a complete mismatch. Hopefully they all don't disappear before I get to comparing more.

January 25th, 2024 minutes DOES NOT match its video.

Minutes say health board was tabled, video shows they appointed a Kurt Shinger to it.

Minutes say Animal Control Board tabled, video shows Day was appointed.

Minutes say Bob Willhite motioned to reappoint Tom Beeman, Ben Chad and Shane Boswell (Shane also seconded this motion, implying he didn't abstain and voted himself) to the Area Plan Commission board, yet no mentioning of it in the video.

EVERYTHING ELSE MISSING IN THE VIDEO.
Library - Shane motioned to reappoint Gene Hankins & Pam Woodall, Bob seconded the motion, passed unanimously.

Mainstreet - Shane made a motion to reappoint Tina Ellis, Bob seconded the motion, passed unanimously.

SIRPC - Shane made a motion to reappoint Tina Brison, Amy Thompson, Bob seconded the motion, passed unanimously.

SWD - Shane made a motion to reappoint Matt Sporleder, Bob seconded the motion, passed unanimously.

TIF - Tabled

Tourism - Shane motioned to reappoint Megan Works and to appoint for the first rime, Autumn Moore.
Bob seconded this motion, passed unanimously.

Water Board - Shane made a motion to reappoint Dan Wright, Bob seconded the motion, passed unanimously.

Bob made a motion to reappoint all active Department Heads until further notice from Commissioners, Shane seconded the motion, passed. unanimously.

Alex suggests that the active department heads serve at the pleasure of the board of authority unless there is an ordinance that says otherwise. Shane seconded the motion, passed unanimously

Jan 25th, 2024 County Commissioner Minutes
https://commissioners--jennings--in.datapitstop.us/DATA/MINUTES/FLD00004/00010445.PDF

Jan 25th, 2024 County Commissioner meeting video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyXcFfxdzgE

I guess all those minutes disappearing and showing back up edited needs more editing.

08/05/2025

JENNINGS COUNTY: WHERE BUILDING YOUR OWN HOUSE MAKES YOU A SUSPECT

Indiana has something called the Log Cabin Rule, a law that lets you build your own home for your own use without needing a building permit. Totally legal. Been upheld in court. Plain as day.

But at a recent Jennings County Area Plan Commission board meeting, a homeowner who followed that law got grilled like he was running a black-market lumber yard.

One board member, clearly more into control than the Constitution said:

“How do we have proof that 100% of the work was done by an individual?” “How do we know that?”

Seriously? That’s the mindset now? You follow the law and you’re treated like you have to prove your innocence?

They had that poor fella listin' off ways he could prove no contractor was hired. Completely wasting their time and tax-payer resources at the same time.

This guy wasn’t flipping homes or ducking inspections, he was exercising a legal right. Had receipts. Followed the statute. But that wasn’t enough.

Then that board members mouth got even worse:

“I don’t care what an attorney says... I want to know what the judge says.”

Translation: “I don’t care what the law is, I’ll accept it only when forced.”

And just for good measure, this same board member said:

“I don’t want to let this dog lie.”

In other words, he wanted to punish him anyway, maybe slap a scarlet letter on his property record just to make sure he couldn't sell it without the board members stink on it.

This is Jennings County government in action:
Where legally building your own home is suspicious, and following state law isn’t good enough unless the board approves of it personally.

Here's the good news: The board voted 6–3 to dismiss the whole thing, a rare moment of sanity. Maybe when they finally get around to posting minutes like they're supposed to be doing, we can see who those 3 nays were in writing. I hear 2 of them were current Commissioners.

But the fact this even had to be voted on should worry every homeowner in the county.

If they don’t like your rights, they’ll try to work around them.

If you don’t beg for permission, you’re a problem.

And if you stand your ground, don’t expect an apology, just more scrutiny.

Jennings County: where the Constitution is optional for some, but micromanagement is policy.

08/05/2025

ATTENTION EVERYONE: GINNY TONIC IS MAD

I swear on my expired Kohl’s cash, I am so mad I could spit nails and staple receipts to people's foreheads. I ain’t just mad, I’m volcanic. I'm sizzlin'. I'm the kind of mad where you forget what started it, but you're committed now and ain't nobody safe.

I woke up mad. I brushed my teeth mad. I saw a squirrel cross the road too confidently and I got madder. Who does he think he is? Just struttin' like he pays property tax. NOPE.

And don't even get me started on the mailman. Walkin’ like the sidewalk is his. Sir, this ain’t a parade, it’s Tuesday. That clickety-clack of his postal shoes echoes in my soul. I get mad just rememberin the sound.

Then I saw someone say “Good vibes only” on Facebook. BAM. Fury. Who decided you get to police my vibes, Brenda? Maybe I like a few bad vibes in my emotional casserole. It’s called depth.

And oh, my neighbor’s wind chimes? Tinklin’ like a haunted saloon at 3am? I’d rather sleep in a can of angry bees. I’m mad at wind now. Wind. And don’t even say “chime” around me unless you’re fixin’ to catch these crocheted fists.

You know what else makes me mad? That little foil seal on a bottle of ketchup. I tear it with my teeth like a raccoon with a grudge. I'm mad at packaging. Mad at salad. Mad at folks who say “nom nom” like food’s a cartoon. I will un-nom your pasta with righteous indignation.

And yes. just reading the word “mad”? Makes me madder. It’s a recursive rage loop. MAD MAD MAD! Look what you did, I’m fumin' so hard I could pop a blood vessel and watercolor the wall with rage.

I’m mad at mismatched Tupperware lids. At the way receipts feel. At people who clap when the plane lands. Mad at spoons that ain’t quite big enough. At people who say “hubby.” At dogs that wear shoes. AT. EVERYTHING.

I tried to calm down by drinkin’ some sleepytime tea. You know what happened? THE BAG RIPPED. Now I got floaties. Mad again.

This isn’t just mad. This is a lifestyle. This is wake-up-and-choose-pettiness mad. This is “write a Yelp review about your neighbor’s lawn gnome” mad. Epic mad. Renaissance mad. “Name a goat after your enemy” mad.

So if you see Ginny stompin’ down Main Street with steam comin’ outta her ears and mascara halfway to her chin, don’t you dare ask, “What’s wrong?” 'Cause if you do?

I WILL GET MADDER.

08/04/2025

Looks like they got the note.

APC board meeting

No audio.. Nice!

Unmute thyself button found 35ish minutes in.. 😂

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If you need government, you’re already a failure as an American! The true secret to success isn’t Innovation. It’s ruthless exploitation, loads of lawyers, sweetheart government deals and knee capping your competition. Innovators get eaten every day.

Jennings County's Granny Punkbuster

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The uneducated and/or easily offended will not have a good time here and should probably move on to their safe spaces.