16/12/2024
We all feel the need to show an exterior of fake perfection, like we hold it all together, that we got it all going, all the time...
Meet Ms Veneer- all my life, I kept it together, or so I liked the world to believe. Only God saw my tears, if only my pillow could talk, it would repeat the cries of despair, fear, distraughtness and every other secret I kept from the world, The Holy Spirit being my only friend, confidante and go to....my kids had no dad, they helped me, just Iike we did, make our single parent home work. God was their daddy, and mom tried to keep the ship moving.
Come age 48, it all came crashing down, I was burnt out, tired, sick, even to the point of needing emergency blood transfusions. For the past 6 years, I have been that woman with that issue who touched the hem of Jesus robe. Yes, not only was blood flowing out of me, but life itself, and the desire to live, had left me as I battled with pernicious anaemia and deep depression. Drs even said they could not figure out how I was still alive with HB levels of 2,1 to 4 all that time.
And at some point - the prodigal daughter didn't return home because she is oh, so righteous in herself, oh no, Her daddy was calling, deep in her soul she could hear him but was so afraid, what would the distance do? Why would He want anything to do with me? You see at the height of my life, someone I trusted, a pastor, a boss and confidant told me the Holy Spirit told him to do ###, That story lead to years of pain, distancing myself from the Kingdom...all the agony...and one day, It was time, He called me home again - to His love, Bust the lie, took away that shame and reproach and replaced it with nothing but love, mercy and grace.
Thats why I call Him Daddy...He knows even my sighs, and He knows yours too.
This is a social platform, but I want to invite you to share not just my recent restoration but the love of God, as I openly declare the name of Jesus. As I say, this is who I am, who's I am and invite you to open the door of your heart to Him.
In Him, you dont need to build up the walls, you can just be you - and He loves you...just as you are.
Have a blessed week as we approach the day that respresents the biggest miracle (yes, yes we know its not necessarily the exact day or date) but know this that the whole world stops and acknowledges Jesus at Christmas. That God so loved the world, that He gave HIS ONLY begotten son that man shall live and not perish. That son is Jesus.
Rekha Jardine
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