05/08/2025
WHEN PAPAS WEAPONIZE SHAME: How Spiritual Leaders Use Guilt for Control
By Pastor Lawrence Musunte
When a so-called “spiritual father” uses your vulnerability as currency to demand loyalty or obedience, he’s not acting like a shepherd, he’s acting like a spiritual gangster boss.
"Guilt says: I did something wrong. Shame says: I am something wrong. The gospel says: You are made new in Christ. On the cross, your guilt was forgiven, and your shame was covered. You don’t owe any man for what Christ already paid in full."
This is the gangster logic in some "Papa" churches:
"When you came to this church you had no job and no car. Now that you're blessed, you forget the anointing that prayed for you."
“I helped you in your darkest moment... now you owe me.”
“I covered your shame... don’t forget who protected you.”
“If not for this church, where would you be?”
“You can’t leave this ministry. I know too much about you enough to destroy you permanently.”
Let’s be clear: this is not fatherhood. It’s emotional blackmail dressed up as spiritual ministry.
Many Christians today live in constant inner tension, weighed down by teachings soaked in fear, guilt, and shame.
But here is the gospel truth: On the cross, the power of sin, guilt, the consequences of sin, and shame was destroyed. The ransom was paid in full.
Yet some preachers don’t want God’s people to live free. They want believers stuck in confusion, never fully certain of their salvation.
That uncertainty keeps people giving, hoping that maybe, just maybe financial sacrifice will erase the shame.
Guilt says: “I did something wrong.”
Shame says: “I am something wrong.”
But the gospel responds like this: Guilt, when surrendered to Christ, leads to genuine repentance. And shame is removed through grace and the finished work of Jesus on the cross.
When Guilt and Shame Become Control Tools
In the toxic system of Paparism, guilt and shame are not healed, they’re amplified.
They’re placed on loudspeaker, not to set people free, but to keep them bound. These tools are stored away, waiting for the day your "spiritual father" decides it's payback time.
Scripture says it plainly:
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Do not be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1 )
“If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.” (John 8:36)
“Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture!” (Jeremiah 23:1–2)
How Prosperity and “Papa” Culture Abuses These Tactics
👉 “Prophetic exposure”: These prophets publicly “discern” sins—not to restore, but to humiliate.
👉 “Private confessions”: Deep personal confessions are later used to threaten, shame, or control followers. (e.g., “If you leave this ministry, I’ll expose what you told me.”)
👉 “False diagnoses”: Believers are told their problems are from marine spirits, curses, or generational altars, issues only the “Papa” can fix... for a fee.
👉 “Seed sowing pressure”: Followers are urged to sow a specific amount of money to remove shame tied to poverty, infertility, or family curses, turning faith into financial obligation.
Anonymous Real-Life Examples
Example 1:
A woman confesses to her pastor that she had an abortion in her youth. Later, the pastor uses that secret to manipulate her loyalty: “I covered your shame, don’t forget who you owe.”
Example 2:
A young man opens up about his struggle with po*******hy. The prophet uses coded language during public prayer to humiliate him. The man becomes isolated and dependent on the prophet’s approval.
Example 3:
A couple seeks counseling for marital issues. The “Papa” convinces the wife that her husband is cursed and that she must submit to the Papa’s “covering” for protection, opening the door to emotional and even sexual exploitation.
Why People Fall into This Trap
➡️ Fear of curses
➡️ Cultural obedience to elders or “fathers”
➡️ Lack of solid biblical teaching
➡️ Shame that convinces them they deserve punishment
➡️ Desperation for breakthrough, healing, marriage, children, or promotion
Healthy Alternatives: Seeking Biblical and Professional Help
~ Professional counselors, therapists, and Christian psychologists:
Trained to deal with addiction, trauma, abuse, and mental health.
Bound by strict confidentiality (unless someone is in danger).
Offer support without control.
~ Biblical pastoral care:
“Confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16 )
But this assumes a relationship built on trust and grace, not power and fear.
True pastors don’t exploit your secrets. They carry your burdens.
How to Protect Yourself Spiritually and Emotionally
❌️ Don’t confess serious personal issues to leaders who demand loyalty in return.
❌️ Beware of "Papa" language that gives men godlike authority.
❌️ If you feel manipulated after confession, that’s not care, it’s control.
✔️ Seek multiple trusted counselors for big decisions (Proverbs 11:14).
✔️ Know your spiritual and emotional boundaries.
Jesus’ Model: Grace, Not Shame
The woman caught in adultery? Jesus didn’t shame her—He protected her.
Peter denied Jesus? He was restored without public exposure.
Zacchaeus? Jesus didn’t humiliate him,He went to his house.
True discipleship doesn’t chain people with guilt. It frees them through grace.
Conclusion: Unmasking Manipulation
“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” (2 Corinthians 3:17)
Any spiritual system that keeps you bound in fear and shame is not the gospel. It’s religious manipulation, dressed in robes and titles.
It’s time to come out of hiding. It’s time to walk in the freedom Christ already paid for.
