Secrete Admirer In Poet

08/06/2023

20/03/2020

《《《I WASN'T READY》》》

Looking back to the times I have spent,
Looking back to the friends I have made,
Looking back to the love I have felt,
Looking back to the people I have met;

I WASN'T READY..

You called me daily to check up on me,
You took me out, just to be with me
You supported my travel to make me reach where I never thought I'd be,
You made me happy and fearless

I WASN'T READY..

they tried to pull me down,
they tried to demote me,
they tried to manipulate me,
they used me and mistreated me,

I WASN'T READY..

I ignored the betrayal,
I ignored the heartbreak,
I ignored the abuse,
I ignored the speculations

I WASN'T READY..

I ignored the signs,
I lived the life I wanted,
I gave my best considering I might not have,
I gave my best stepping down from my comfort zone,

I WASN'T READY..

It wasn't easy having to be around all of yourl,
My last days were unbelievable
My lonely nights with no-one were even worse,
Many thoughts of "is this really me?"lingered
Yes I felt lost and deserted

I WASN'T READY..

Yes I felt pain,
yet,
no one heard my cry
Familiar faces and voices I recalled,
A few memories striked me,
was smiling on some of them
but still

I WASN'T READY..

Grateful for the prayers and love the during my days,
Grateful for the support I've recieved even on my died bed,
Grateful for the thought from everyone even to date,
but still know,

I WASN'T READY..

I left everyone in shock,
Still I don't believe I left so soon,
Still I don't believe my journey ended that day you last saw me,
and still I don't believe

YOU'LL WEREN'T READY..

From me to you is,
Walk Prepared,
Live Prepare,
and BE Prepared
most of all..

BE READY..

This too is coming to you,

Till we meet again stay BLESSED..

01/11/2018

Has risen me from the death bed,
functioned my life to be released,
released from life's bo***ge.
Without this melody,
I am empty,
I am good as dead.

I have felt its touch within me,
calming my soul and overflowing mine cup.
This melody opens my heart automatically,
with just one sound betters and makes everything perfect.

This melody has made me take off my robe,
made me wash my feet to prepare myself for a therapy.
It made me yearn for and more,
the joy that makes the whole body to shiver.
Leaves you praising God creation.

This melody will make your heart skip,
Indeed it changed me from the inside
and brought out the best of my heart.
My sorrows and pain are all gone,
somehow it healed me
can imagine it if it were human?!!

The way it touched me with it soft hands,
perfumed body even to the clothes worn
The arms were strong, soft can feel the warmth it will bring.
It has cultivated my spirit for it what its aim for,
as I danced to this melody my eyes shut,
a sensational breeze came with it.
Im Completed
HER VOICE #

《《《《《《《THE END》》》》》》

11/07/2018

I asked God to take away my pride,
and God said, 'NO'. He said it was not for Him to take away,
but for me to give it up.
I asked God to make my sick granny whole,
And God said, 'NO'. He said her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience,
And God said, 'NO'. He said that patience is a byproduct of tribulation,
it isn't grantrd, its earned
I asked God to give me happiness,
And God said, 'NO'. He said He gives blessings, happiness is up to me

I asked God to spare me pain,
And God said, 'NO'. He said, suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow,
And God said, 'NO'. He said I must grow on my own,
but He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked God if He loved me,
And God said, "YES". He gave me His only Son who died for me,
and I will be in heaven someday because I believe.
I asked God to help me love others, as much as He loves me,
And God said, 'AH', finally you have the idea...

[[[[[[[[[[THE END]]]]]]]]]

24/08/2017

01/08/2017

28/07/2017

One may think im seeking it,
The eye never lies
one quick glance at it you'll see
Innocence and pain which is
Known by everyone..

Body structured in a way no men can resist,
Adored in every movement,
Capturing even the trusted ones too,
seeing them jump like a dog has seen a bone
Been waved at
Understood by none..

The mouth has said it all
believe or not its up to you,
Lips shine and sometimes dried
with a gentle kiss some crave
The one that shall live you
gasping for breathe yes
Known by all..

Something my heart has never showed,
discribed as a bloody pumping organ
Skips two times faster if physically attracted.
Aches from the very core of it,
yet excites in every given situation
But still
Understood by none..

Better yet let me transport you to my mind,
Silly thoughts id direct you so fast
You'd be in a parade.
Similarities we share are adventurous moments
Clearly this is
Known by everyone, understood by none..

But all in all it how i make them feel
And how they make me feel,
I'm drawn in the brightest sunlight day
Than darkness manoeuvres to kill.
You'd think i want it
Cause i'm used to taking,
Feelings always fail i admit it
Known by everyone, understood by none..

《《《《《THE END》》》》》

09/07/2017

>>

When i was sad and depressed, i needed you to be
cheerful.
Instead i drank till i was numb enough not
to feel anything.

When everyone was attacking me and putting me
down, making me feel so low.
I needed you to be
the one who defended me and be on my side,
instead i endured all the cruel words threw at me
including you.

When i felt so lonely and needed someone to care,
i
needed you to hold me tight and never let me go.
Instead i grew up alone with no one to turn to.

When i was hurt and people close to us took
advantage of me,
i needed you to come running with
your healing ways and protect me, instead i
remained scared and bruised.

When i would inflict self-toutur wanting to die,
i needed you to tell me hw impotant i was.
Instead i
hid my scars and became oblivius to everyone.

When i would cry myslf at night, i needed u to wipe
the tears away.
Instead i held my pillow tight while
never ending tears streaming down my face.

When my world was crushing down on me, i needed
you to be the one i ran to.
Instead i locked myself in
my room in complete despair.

When i felt unloved i needed you to tell me how
much you loved me.
Instead i learned the words 'I
LOVE YOU' are meaningless..

《《《《《THE END》》》》》

28/06/2017

I have found another reason
to escape,
escape self torture.
Not for my sake so they ask
of me.
Its pointless my brain ponders
Heart held on too tight on thoughts,
My tear turned out to be art
I can feel my heart reaping apart.
Just let me be.

Do i need a psycological help
one may think i'm mentally ill,
Or did life just decide to be real.
For your information i'm emotionally bruised,
soul lost and can never be found.
Happiness is a time being for me
I just have to be

In my darkest hours
my deepest despair,
who seemed to care
The bible on my side
waiting for my mind to blame,
God for taking me on this ride
Why can't you let me be..

All my life i've lived out of peoples
pennies in their wallet
Lived under roofs for food,
being promised that all will be
alright in time.
Still traumazes me having to see,
seeing and yet not given a chance
I just want to be

I have been hidden behind a smile,
a laughter that would fool anyone
who dares to be fooled.
I've screamed in silence,
cried in the dark.
What i got for it sympathy and shame,
Still no one understands me.
what's the point i don't owe you an
explaination
So please..
Just Let Me Be

《《《《《《THE END》》》》》》

08/05/2017

««««SHADOW»»»»

You are so close,
just next to me
Yet out of reach
and out of smell
You know down to my darkest fears,
You understand my saddest tears
But you can never hold me tight.

A silent voice
that keeps me walking,
A stubborn hope
that we'll be talking.
That out of the void,
My name will ring
and all distance denied
Our lives will collide.

If i could share this pain inside me
if i could show where it hides
Would someone be they by my side?
To help me carry the tears and fears
I shared with my pillow?
Would someone be close or leave me
Sad and weary
to fight my past with me.

To my lonely heart
Must have turned to cold stone,
Iv forgotten those three words
for i be friends or love to be
This silence of yours
Is sorrow to me
My SHADOW

««««««THE END»»»»»»