26/06/2021
I admired your kindness, your respect and loved your mystic eyes
S*x wasn’t a one way pleasure street, transforming into a love making dream team.
You fell in love with who I am, smiling became the norm.
Life became heaven on earth, how could I be so lucky to be so happy.
The problem is narcissism starts this way, roping you in with charm and mentally controlling you. You see I met you when I was most vulnerable and you decided not to nurture it but instead to use me to help assist your own insecure self.
As soon as I showed you the weaker side to me there was No communication blocking me as if there was a steel cage around your heart.
Like a fool I became sympathetic, trying my best to understand how can I help you to see the power of love.
The more we became distant, the more I thought it was me, Am I the one to blame here. You shamed me for my spirituality, the way I looked and even my family. You even became ashamed to have me around your friends.
Why do we do this to ourself, us as victims just wanting to be loved we attract more abuse?
Do we love torturing ourselves, is that the sense of self worth we want?
Narcissism might get us, you and I. The truth is, it’s hard to escape because when I love. I love with all my heart and soul. All I want is to help and be there to learn and grow.
One thing you need to remember is, I am strong. I take time to work on myself to grow and learn. I know what I deserve. So when I wake up from this control you best be ready.
Once my eyes open the first aspect I see in your narcissistic human is you might have ego, but deep down you are scared, vulnerable and you don’t know how to feel. Emotions are suppressed and it’s not your fault.
I feel sorry for you, I would love for you to change this pattern. I would love you to be happy and I would love to show you that I love you and how to love.
But you see there is so much mention of I. What about you. What do you want do you actually want to change? Only you can decide.
Will this be the last time I date a narcissist most probably no. Depends how many vulnerable patterns I have overcome.