31/07/2020
It's ok not to be ok (all the time)
Seemingly such a simple truth. So obvious. Yet for many of us so completely unacceptable.
Because being ok, feeling ok, doing ok - is great! Isn’t it??
So even when our circumstances and reality call for a completely different (and often opposing) ‘way of being’, we find ourselves putting all our energy into returning to the ‘right lane’ - of being ok.
I am talking to people who have lost a loved one and could not even say goodbye to them, others who lost their jobs or the freedom to see family and friends. People that are all alone day and night, others who cannot find quiet space to breathe, and are missing the hours spent in traffic, where they could just be with their thoughts and away from nagging children and demanding partners.
I am talking to people terrified of losing their jobs, working tirelessly day and night to show their employer how vital they are, neglecting their families and themselves, risking total burnout. I am talking to elderly parents, who are feeling trapped, unable to see their children and grandchildren, terrified of the possibility of dying all alone in a sterile hospital bed, or maybe not even able to get to that hospital... Children and teenagers forced to stay indoors, missing out on everything that counts, not able to socialize or interact with their friends.
WE ARE NOT OK!!
Maybe we should just give ourselves a moment to acknowledge that. To sit with this for a second. A moment to feel the pain, the sorrow, the fear, and the loss. Will it be ok, for just one moment to shed a tear or two? To sob? To feel sorry for myself?
Will I break down? (what does that even mean??)
Will I go to such a dark place and not be able to come back?
Will I cry so much – I will not be able to stop?
Will I?
No, no, and no.
I am human, these are all human emotions. The same as joy, love, and happiness - those also do not last forever. They come and go like the waves of the ocean. Sometimes powerful and can knock you down and other times gentle, but like the waves they recede and disappear and another one comes in its place.
I allow myself to take a moment (or more). To NOT be ok.
And when I do that, I do not feel guilty or ashamed. I feel ok. To not be ok.