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Your guide to the best things on the internet. All socials provide different pieces of content and I look forward to growing smiles and the community together.

Times magazine's person of the year in 2006 and meme extraordinaire, Bumfluffski is a twitch streamer and community-orientated content creator that aims at making your day better. For business enquiries, please contact me on [email protected].

13/11/2025

🐟 Goldfish don’t have teeth in their mouths.
They keep them in their throats...

Tiny molars, hidden behind their gills, crunching seeds, plants and sometimes snail shells, with unsettling precision.

It’s called a pharyngeal jaw, a secret second mouth evolution built out of spare bones. You can’t see it, but your goldfish’s dinner sounds like a horror movie under a microscope.

🦷 The Goldfish With Teeth in Its Throat
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/the-goldfish-with-teeth-in-its-throat?r=2ib932

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Goldfish don’t have teeth in their mouths — they keep them somewhere much weirder

12/11/2025

🌍 Ever noticed how all the continents are hanging out on one side of Earth, like the planet forgot to balance its plate?

That’s not a glitch. It’s geology mid-breakup.

We’re still living through the slow-motion fallout of Pangea, the last supercontinent.
Half the planet is basically “land group chat,” the other half (the Pacific) is an ancient scar left from the split.

Eventually, everything will drift back together again into a new supercontinent scientists already call Amasia.

Continents aren’t static. They’re just between reunions.

🪐 The Lopsided Planet Problem
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/the-lopsided-planet-problem?r=2ib932

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Why all the continents are huddled on one side of Earth, and why that’s perfectly normal (for a geologic fever dream).

11/11/2025

The future of wound care might already be growing in the dirt.

Scientists just turned a humble soil fungus into a living bandage... a patch made of mycelium that heals skin instead of infecting it.

It’s soft, flexible, 83% water, and biologically near-identical to human tissue. The fungus even builds itself into spongy layers strong enough for grafts, wound dressings, or implants.

No plastic. No polymers. Just a mushroom doing surgery.

🍄 The Bandage That’s Alive
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/the-bandage-thats-alive?r=2ib932

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Scientists just grew a fungus that heals skin instead of infecting it.

06/11/2025

🌍 Before trees existed, mushrooms ruled the Earth.

400 million years ago, the tallest things on land weren’t pines or palms, they were fungal skyscrapers called Prototaxites.

Towering 24 feet high and 3 feet wide, these giant mushrooms dominated a world of moss and insects with wings the size of your hand.

For more than 50 million years, they recycled the planet’s first dead plants, built the soil that trees would one day need, and then quietly vanished when forests arrived.

It took scientists over a century to figure out what they even were.

🍄 The Giant Mushrooms That Once Ruled the Earth
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/the-giant-mushrooms-that-once-ruled?r=2ib932

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Long before trees, the tallest things on land were... fungi.

05/11/2025

Meet the toilet that doesn’t flush... it digests.

No water. No smell. No shame.
Scientists at UBC just built the world’s first mushroom-powered toilet, a “mycotoilet” that feeds your waste to fungi.

The result?
🍄 159 gallons of rich soil.
💧 528 gallons of liquid fertiliser.
🌍 Zero wasted water.

It’s powered by mycelium, the same underground fungal network that recycles forests, and it might just be the future of sanitation.

Because in nature, nothing disappears. Everything transforms.

💩 The Toilet That Eats You (Politely)
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/the-toilet-that-eats-you-politely?r=2ib932

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Scientists built a mushroom-powered loo that digests human waste... no water, no stink, no shame.

04/11/2025

While you sleep tonight, thousands of eight-legged creatures will crawl across your face.

They’ll eat your skin oil. They’ll mate. And when their short, greasy lives end… they’ll explode, releasing decades of stored p**p straight into your pores.

They’re called Demodex mites, microscopic arachnids living in every human’s face, eyelashes, and eyebrows.

They have no anuses. No dignity. And somehow, no plans to leave.

🕷 You’re Never Alone: The Tiny Mites Living (and Dying) on Your Face
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/youre-never-alone-the-tiny-mites?r=2ib932

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They have eight legs, no anuses, and spend their lives eating your skin oils until they explode.

03/11/2025

Lions miss. Sharks miss. Wolves miss.
The world’s most efficient killer doesn’t.

It’s a dragonfly, and it hits its target 97% of the time.

With four wings that move independently, eyes that see nearly everything, and brain circuits that predict where prey will be before it moves, dragonflies are basically biological fighter jets perfected by 300 million years of evolution.

Next time one hovers past you, remember: you’re standing next to a glittering assassin that never misses.

🪰 The Most Efficient Killer on Earth Has Wings Like Lace
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/the-most-efficient-killer-on-earth?r=2ib932

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Forget lions, the world’s deadliest hunter is a dragonfly with a 97% kill rate.

31/10/2025

In Japan, police don’t tackle you when you’re drunk, they roll you up.

It’s called a hogo shiito, a thin plastic “protection sheet” used to safely cocoon violent or out-of-control drunks instead of wrestling them to the ground.

No pepper spray. No shouting. Just quiet, polite burritoing.

It’s part restraint device, part philosophy: control through composure, not confrontation.
Some call it absurd. Others call it genius. Either way, it works and it’s very, very Japanese.

🍶 The Country That Burrito-Wraps Its Drunks
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/the-country-that-burrito-wraps-its?r=2ib932

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In Japan, police don’t tackle you, they roll you up.

30/10/2025

Your toothbrush is doing more than saving you from morning breath, it might literally be protecting your heart. ❤️🪥

A Japanese hospital study found that people who brushed at night had roughly half the risk of heart problems compared to those who didn’t brush at all.

Morning brushing? Polite.
Night brushing? Preventive cardiology.

Skip the bedtime brush, and mouth bacteria spend the night throwing a rave that ends in your bloodstream. It’s inflammation’s favourite party, and the reason that two minutes before bed might matter more than any supplement in your cupboard.

🩺 Brush, Sleep, Live: Why Your Nightly Toothbrush Is Quietly Protecting Your Heart
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/brush-sleep-live-why-your-nightly?r=2ib932

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A hospital cohort, a startling risk gap, and the case for brushing before bed (not just before meetings).

29/10/2025

Nobody has ever seen the same rainbow...

Every rainbow is a personal illusion built just for your eyes. Move even a meter, and the one you were looking at disappears, replaced by another born from a different set of raindrops.

They’re not arches either... they’re perfect circles of light. You only see the top half because the Earth’s in the way.

Sunlight, water, and geometry are conspiring to trick you, beautifully.

🌈 The Strange Truth About Rainbows (and Why You’ll Never Find the End)
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/why-rainbows-arch-and-why-youll-never?r=2ib932

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Nature’s most beautiful geometry lesson happens every time it rains.

28/10/2025

Ever stopped mid-alphabet and thought… wait, why is it in that order?

Why A before B? Why not Q before M? Who decided “alphabetical order” was even a thing?

Spoiler: nobody did.
It’s not based on sound, logic, or design, it’s a 3,000-year-old habit from Phoenician scribes that we’ve all just… kept doing.

The Greeks copied it. The Romans copied them. We copied the Romans.
Now we treat it like gospel because we sang it to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

Your filing cabinet, your contact list, even your search results, all built on the world’s oldest arbitrary list.

A-B-C: chosen by no one, maintained by everyone.

🔠 Read the full story: The Alphabet Has No Reason to Be in Order
👉 https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/the-alphabet-has-no-reason-to-be?r=2ib932

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A, B, C, D… because someone once said so.

27/10/2025

The next weapon against climate change isn’t a supercomputer.
It’s your old Coke bottle.

Danish scientists just turned plastic waste into a material that literally eats CO₂.

Full story → https://theuselessgenius.substack.com/p/the-plastic-bottle-that-eats-the?r=2ib932

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Scientists just taught your old soda bottle to vacuum carbon dioxide out of the air.

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