23/06/2026
My wife and I have been together for over 17, married for 5 and have a son. Like most we’ve had ups and downs but have always trusted and love one another.
The last couple of years have been stressful with money and building a house. We recently moved into our new house and things have been great, better than ever really. We are connected emotionally and s*xually and are having fun with one another again.
Yesterday was her birthday and I noticed her phone was laying around while she was in the toilet so I thought I’d surprise her with a pic on her phone, when I grabbed it I noticed WhatsApp and opened. We have never hidden anything from each other so I didn’t think it was a big deal or think twice about it.
The convo was opened to a male ex-work mate J who she is friends with and sees for walks, coffee and goes to entertainment events with, generally with another of her work mates who also happens to be a close friend of mine, P.
Anyway, I looked at the convo and noticed she had sent him a pic of her in semi-revealing lingerie, a picture she had sent me a few days earlier because I told her I liked her in that outfit. My brain and heart broke and I put the phone down without reading or looking any further.
I took 5-10mins to gather my thoughts and talked to her about it. She knew it was stupid and inappropriate but said she didn’t see it as a s*xual thing as they were discussing gym progress and she trusted him. I found out that early on in their friendship she had a crush on him but has never and would never act on it. But the part that broke me was he had sent her topless pic of himself showing gym progress and he is in much better shape than I have ever been, a boundary was crossed, yet they thought nothing of it.
We both didn’t sleep much that night, she is worried she ruined everything and I’ll leave her. My dreams were fu**ed up, with him topless and her in lingerie laughing at how stupid I am.
I love my wife and want for us to stay together and to trust her. I don’t want to worry when she gets a msg or goes on walking or coffee dates with friends.
I’m not sure if I am overreacting, I’m sad, exhausted, angry, broken, hurt, insecure, jealous, lonely and feel incredibly stupid. It’s unfair that my world’s broken and I have to put back the pieces.
