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Single Parents Forum, South African National Tuberculosis Settlement (2025)

08/08/2025

I want to end up with you.

You who made falling in love so easy. Who made me feel appreciated no matter much I doubt myself. Who celebrate even the little things I do.

You who can make even the rainy date night so magical. Who can say nothing but still sounds like an orchestric peace. Who can just sit beside me and could make my heart happy.

You who always reassure your love for me even on days I feel unlovable. You who saw my scars and said that nothing could ever make you think that I am less than good enough. Mostly, you whom I want to raise a pet with.

You made me believe that life is not always grey and blue. Sometimes, it is in the brightest color in the shade of you.

Single Parents Forum

08/08/2025

We hear it all the time: "Do what you love."

And while I believe in the importance of meaningful work, I also recognize a harder truth not everyone has the privilege to walk away from a job that pays the bills. For many people, a job isn’t just a career; it’s survival. It puts food on the table, pays rent, and supports loved ones.

Still, more and more people especially younger generations are choosing to leave jobs that no longer align with who they are. They’re not afraid to walk away from roles that drain their energy or hurt their mental health. And that’s a brave thing to do.

But quitting your job is not a light decision. As someone who has been in the workforce for nearly a decade, I’ve felt the pull to leave more than once. There were days I wanted to walk away from my 9-to-5, especially when I wasn’t feeling fulfilled. But responsibilities kept me grounded. Bills don’t pause for passion. So before you send in that resignation letter, here are 5 honest questions you should ask yourself:

1. Why am I quitting?

Be brutally honest here. Are you burned out? Uninspired? Dealing with a toxic work environment? Or do you just need a break? Sometimes, dissatisfaction is temporary caused by a difficult project, a tough boss, or personal burnout. Other times, it’s rooted in something deeper that won’t go away with time.
Understanding your true motivation helps you figure out if you’re making a reactive decision or a necessary one. You don’t have to justify your feelings to anyone else, but you do need clarity for yourself.

2. Where will I go next?

Quitting sounds freeing until reality kicks in. What comes after?

This question matters, especially if you’re financially responsible for others. Are you planning to move into another job? Start your own business? Take a break? Travel? Go back to school?

If you have a plan, great. If not, take a moment to map it out. You don’t need all the answers, but you do need a rough idea of what comes next. Quitting without a plan is a privilege not everyone can afford.

3. What am I going to do realistically?

Let’s be honest: “I’ll figure it out later” is romantic in theory, but risky in real life. Sure, some people have done it and succeeded, but many others have struggled with uncertainty and financial stress.

Before you quit, think about your savings, support system, skills, and options. Will you freelance? Learn something new? Take a break? Sometimes we want to leave so badly we don’t think about what leaving actually looks like. Think about it now before it’s too late.

4. Am I running from something or toward something?

This is a big one. Are you leaving because you’re chasing a dream or just escaping a nightmare?
There’s nothing wrong with walking away from a toxic job. But if you’re constantly switching roles without a clear sense of direction, the problem might not be the job it might be deeper. The goal is not just to run, but to run towards something better. Growth. Alignment. Peace. Purpose.

5. Can I afford to quit right now?

It’s not the most exciting question, but it’s essential. Can you survive financially and emotionally without a paycheck for a few months? Do you have savings, a backup plan, or support?

If the answer is no, don’t quit just yet. That doesn’t mean you’re stuck forever. It just means you need more time to prepare. Build your emergency fund. Start your job search quietly. Do the behind-the-scenes work that will set you free later.

- Final Thoughts

Quitting your job can be empowering but it’s not always simple. There’s no one-size-fits-all advice here. Every person’s situation is different, shaped by responsibilities, finances, and emotional capacity.

If you're unhappy, that’s valid. But before you take the leap, ask yourself these questions. Not to talk yourself out of it but to make sure you’re jumping with your eyes open, not just your heart.

Leaving can be a brave choice. But so is staying while you prepare for something better.

Single Parents Forum

08/08/2025

Some of you are in relationships where both of you are bleeding, but nobody wants to drop their pride and say one simple word: SORRY.

You hurt each other. Say sorry!

You misunderstood something. Say sorry!

You raised your voice. Say sorry!

You neglected them emotionally, dismissed their feelings, talked down on them. Say sorry!!

It won’t kill you.

You’ll buy gifts, cook food, send kisses, post them on WhatsApp and everything except actually apologize.

You’ll do everything around the wound, but never address it directly.

And yet, a sincere “I’m sorry” could’ve stopped the silent treatment.

Could’ve avoided the breakup.

Could’ve healed a scar before it turned into distance.

Apologizing doesn’t make you weak.

Some relationships didn’t end because of cheating or big fights.

They ended because someone kept acting like they were too perfect to say:

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. I’ll do better.”

Learn to say sorry. It will not reduce you.

Single Parents Forum

08/08/2025

💔You Actually Need That Heartbreak!💔

Sometimes, what you really need… is a serious, premium tears, “God Abeg” type of heartbreak.

Yes o. You need one solid heartbreak to reset your brain and reprogram your life.

Because nothing humbles and awakens a person like the moment someone you love finishes you like assignment.

That kind of heartbreak that makes you look in the mirror and ask,

“Is it me? Am I the drama?”

See ehn, pain can be a powerful teacher.

Heartbreak will force you to sit with yourself.
It will silence every noise around you and make you finally listen to YOU.

That’s when you’ll finally start asking deep questions:
“What do I even want in life?”
“Who am I without this person?”
“Why have I been tolerating nonsense in the name of love?”

And before you know it, you’ll start glowing differently.

Your mind will open. Your spirit will upgrade.
You’ll find new passions, reconnect with God, start that business, change your hair, change your circle.

You see people who have suffered serious heartbreak?

They either lose their minds or find their purpose.
And most times, they find purpose.

Because suffering will show you who you are!

I’m not telling you to go out and look for heartbreak o 🙄

But if it comes? Don’t run. Don’t beg. Don’t shrink.
Stand tall, cry your cry, clean your tears.

Because truly, heartbreak isn’t the end. It’s a rebranding.
A reset.

A God-given opportunity to leave behind the soft mumu version of you and embrace your full glory.

So if you’re in the middle of a heartbreak right now, congratulations 🤣
Life is about to show you something you’ve never seen before. And it can be better🥂

©️ Single Parents Forum

08/08/2025

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08/08/2025

Life has a funny way of working itself out. There are days when everything seems to fall into place, as if the universe finally heard all your silent prayers. But more often than not, life takes its own unpredictable course completely out of your control. I've come to realize that no matter how much we plan, organize, or prepare, some things are simply meant to unfold in their own way.

Change is inevitable. So are other people’s reactions, emotions, and the random twists that life throws at us. And truthfully? That’s a tough pill to swallow especially for someone like me who loves to plan, to know, to anticipate what’s next.

For the longest time, I struggled with this. I would lay out everything meticulously, and when things didn’t go according to plan, I’d spiral. Confusion. Self-blame. A constant loop of replaying events in my mind, trying to figure out where I went wrong. It became emotionally draining. The aftermath of unmet expectations hit me hard, especially when things turned messy and unpredictable.

But eventually, something shifted. I realized that not everything was my fault. Not every failed plan meant I failed. Some things are just out of my hands timing, circumstances, other people’s choices. And that’s okay. It’s not that I stopped caring or trying, but I learned to release the tight grip I had on outcomes. I learned to stop holding on so tightly that it hurt.

Once I started embracing this mindset, life felt lighter. I could move on more easily from situations that no longer served me. I stopped dwelling on the “what could’ve been” and instead asked myself, “What now?” I allowed myself to grow, to heal, and to keep going not because things went perfectly, but because I chose to keep flowing.

I still believe in good things. Just because life doesn’t always go my way doesn’t mean it won’t go a way a path that might be even better than I imagined. There’s a quiet strength in letting go of the need to control everything. I’ve found peace in living with fewer expectations, in allowing life to unfold as it’s meant to.

Now, I breathe a little easier. I trust a little more. And I remind myself daily: not everything has to go according to plan for life to be beautiful.

Single Parents Forum

08/08/2025

Behind my smile is pain…
But also faith.
Behind the silence is exhaustion…
But also hope.
I cry. I break. But I rise. Every time.

A lot of people wear smiles like armor.

Single Parents Forum

07/08/2025

You’ve probably heard it before: “Love yourself every part of you.” But is it really that simple? Is it truly possible to love every single part of ourselves, especially the ones we struggle with the most?

Personally, I don’t think we have to love every part of ourselves to live in peace. But also disliking a part of you should not automatically lead to hating it. The truth is, hate can soften when we start practicing acceptance when we begin to understand that scars, flaws, and imperfections are all part of being human.

That doesn’t mean we deserved the pain. Scars tell stories, and only we truly know what they mean. Some people are comfortable sharing those stories; others choose to keep them private and both are perfectly okay, as long as those hidden parts aren't silently harming the way we live.

We all have pieces of ourselves we may not like. But here's something that’s helped me: stop comparing. The moment I let go of comparing my story to anyone else’s, it became easier to accept the parts of me I once labeled as "ugly." Like the saying goes, nobody’s perfect and that includes me.

I also realized that the parts we don’t like aren’t always physical. Sometimes, they show up in our behavior or personality. For example, I’ve noticed in myself a tendency to expect too much from others. It used to cause a lot of frustration mostly for me. But instead of punishing myself for it, I’ve been learning to manage that expectation, to meet people where they are instead of where I hoped they’d be.

It’s okay to acknowledge that some things about ourselves are hard to love. What’s important is that we don’t use those parts as weapons against ourselves or others. We’re not meant to adore every piece of life, but we can learn to embrace it, or at least soften around it.

Sometimes we don’t like something in ourselves because of how we’ve been conditioned by past trauma, by societal pressure, or by unrealistic standards we’ve internalized. But if we recognize that, we also have the power to shift our perspective. We can choose to unlearn the hate, especially when we know that doing so will help us heal.

You don’t have to love every part of you but you do deserve to live without shame. And acceptance is a good place to start.

Single Parents Forum

07/08/2025

“I’m scared.” Three simple words. Yet they’ve crushed more dreams than rejection, failure, or criticism ever could.

Being scared of something unfamiliar something we haven’t tried or don’t fully understand is human. But one of the greatest challenges many of us face is learning how to move forward despite fear. Especially when it comes to doing the things we truly love.

Fear vs. Growth

One of the most powerful quotes I’ve heard recently is from Arthur Brooks: “You beat fear by experiencing the fear and making it ordinary.”

That hit me hard.

For most of my life, I’ve based my decisions on emotion. I often misjudged fear as a red light, a sign to stop, rather than a signal to grow. But when I finally took a closer look, I realized what fear was really hiding: I was scared of failing.

I was scared of looking weak. I was scared of being vulnerable. I was scared of letting people down especially myself.

So I chose the sidelines. I let chances pass me by. Because standing still felt safer than risking disappointment.

Regret Is Louder Than Fear

Looking back, I see all the opportunities I gave up not because I couldn’t do them, but because I let fear decide for me.

Admitting that was hard. But what’s harder is the quiet regret of knowing how different things could’ve been if I had just taken the leap.
I said “no” to things that might have changed my life.

I avoided paths that led to what I was passionate about because I was afraid of the unknown.

A Personal Promise

So here’s what I’ve promised myself:
I will no longer let fear be bigger than my dreams.

I’m learning to say yes to the things that scare me because those are often the things that lead to the most growth.

Even if I fail.
Even if I fall short.
Even if I’m scared.
I’ll show up anyway.

I’ll do it afraid but I’ll do it for the version of me that’s been waiting on the other side of courage.

SSingle Parents Forum

07/08/2025

Is it just me, or does waiting feel like wasted time?

I used to hate it. The stillness, the uncertainty it all made me feel unproductive, like I was standing still while the world raced ahead.

Maybe it’s selfish to admit, but I’ve always been wired to keep going, to move, to achieve. Rest felt like weakness, and waiting? Even worse.

Because waiting means letting go of control. It requires trust in time, in the process, in something bigger than myself. And that’s what made it so hard. I used to believe that if I wasn’t actively doing something, I was falling behind.

But I’ve come to realize that waiting is doing something. It’s just a different kind of work.

In the beginning, waiting made me anxious. I didn’t know what would happen next, and I hated not having a say in the outcome. The uncertainty used to crush me. My heart wanted everything now, especially the things I cared about most. But the more I was asked to wait, the more I began to understand what it was teaching me.

Waiting taught me patience.

And in that patience, I found a kind of peace. A quieter mind. The ability to let go of the thoughts that didn’t serve me. The unnecessary worries. The unrealistic timelines. It wasn’t easy nothing worth learning ever is but looking back, it was absolutely worth it. Especially when the thing I was waiting for finally arrived, and I could say: I was ready for this.

The waiting seasons come to all of us.

Sometimes they show up when we’re rushing, as if God or the universe is gently (or not so gently) telling us to slow down.

Other times, they come as tests silent exams to see if we’re truly prepared for what we’re asking for. And often, they come simply because what we want takes time. The good stuff usually does.

In my waiting seasons, I’ve learned to appreciate the stillness. The slow days. The pauses in life that feel like nothing but are actually everything. I’ve learned that rest isn’t failure, and patience isn’t passivity it’s preparation.

We live in a world where everything happens instantly. One click. One swipe. One scroll. So naturally, when things take longer, we panic. We assume something must be wrong. But the truth is, waiting is not the enemy. It’s part of the process.

Not everything can arrive in a blink. Some things the best things ask us to count the days, the months, maybe even the seasons.

So if you’re in a waiting season right now, I hope you know this: it’s not wasted time. It’s preparation. It’s growth. It’s grace in disguise.

Let it teach you. Let it change you. And when your time finally comes, you’ll see it was never about the waiting. It was about who you became while you waited.

Single Parents Forum

07/08/2025

A lot of people spend their lives fixated on what’s ahead constantly planning, preparing, and projecting into the future. On the other hand, some remain stuck in the past replaying memories, regrets, or what-ifs that can no longer be changed.

Both states of mind create a kind of anxiety that quietly steals from the present. And the truth is, most of the things we worry about whether from yesterday or tomorrow don’t deserve the space they take up in our minds today.

I’ve heard it said many times, and maybe you have too: “Live in the present.” It sounds simple. Maybe even obvious. But for someone like me a self-proclaimed over-thinker it took me a long time to actually understand and practice that idea.

Letting go of the pull from both sides the weight of the past and the uncertainty of the future didn’t come easily. I used to obsess over what had already happened, constantly questioning why it unfolded that way. At the same time, I was always thinking ahead, trying to control outcomes that hadn’t even occurred yet.

All of it left me feeling drained and disconnected. I was breathing, but not really living.

But as I grew older, something shifted. I began to see the value of simply being here right now. I realized that life doesn’t happen in the past or in the future. It happens in this very moment.

And if I kept missing it, I’d look back one day and regret not being more present for the life I was actually living. One piece of advice that helped me take the first step was this:

To live in the present, start by noticing what’s right in front of you.

It sounds easy. But the first time I tried it, my mind quickly wandered either back to something that happened years ago or forward to a worry about something uncertain. I had to keep bringing myself back. Over and over again.
It’s a practice. And like any practice, it gets easier the more you do it.

Some tools have helped along the way:

* Mindful breathing and short meditations to ease the grip of future-based anxiety.

* Journaling and self-reflection to process and release the past.

* Simply noticing the little things the sounds around me, the colors, the sensations, the people near me.

It’s important to know that worrying about the future or reflecting on the past isn’t inherently bad. In fact, it can be useful if we don’t let ourselves get stuck there. Planning ahead is wise. Learning from the past is valuable. But living there? That’s when we lose touch with the life we’re meant to experience now.

So, if you're like me always overthinking, always somewhere else maybe today is a good day to pause. Look around you. Breathe. Let today be enough.

Because the present moment is not just where life happens it’s the only place where we can truly live.

Single Parents Forum

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