24/7 Zambia News Updates

19/12/2017

CHINESE PRODUCTS DON'T LAST LONG.
Appointed - 18/12/2017
Fired - 19/12/2017

19/12/2017

So recruiting 8 Chinese nationals as police reserves will help maintain law and order and recruiting 8 Zambian nationals wouldn't help maintain law and order???? I ask myself.. Problem with our leaders you are always trying to justify yourselves even when you have done wrong.. Why did u get 8 foreigners instead of 8 of your own Zambians?? Does it mean they are or would be better individuals to do the said job?

01/12/2017

😂😂😅😅

01/12/2017

December starts today so even if he tries to bring arguments just avoid the dude nangula bae,even went he says you are ugly just say I know hun.
If you get upset nizako it's just a trick of not wanting to buy you a Xmas present so be a gud gal nomata wat

01/12/2017

GIRLS THINK OF THIS:
You want to have s*x with a man, he does not
have a condom.
He tell you to swallow the E-Pill, you agree.
He also tells you to be using contraceptives, you
agree.
He tells you to be injected with the 3 months
contraceptive, you agree.
Somehow you get pregnant, he tells you to
abort, you agree.
You abort and subject your s*xuality to
infections.....
All along in the name of love!!
This guy does not love you, he is using you like a
peace of toilet paper.
When all the above comes haunting you later in
life....
You get married, you want to get a kid, you
cannot since you already destroyed your s*x
organ...
you cry day and night praying to God to give you
one child....you cannot....you are only living the
consequences of your earlier life!
The guys who made you such are no where to cry
with you, they are busy chasing after other
gals....after passing the burden of your earlier life
to another guy who was not part of your past....
Gals, learn to say no to unsafe s*x, and if you
have s*x, be ready to live with the
consequences.
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22/11/2017

DID YOU KNOW?????
Robert Mugabe is still the president of Zimbabwe but the letter (P) is silent.........

22/11/2017

is there anybody here from immigration department?... ever since i was born in chidiza eastern province I've been pretending to be zambian. am ready to go back home to zimbabwe now coz am tired of pretending to be somebody am not.
ba immigration please deport me asap and explain to your counterparts in my beloved homeland zimbabwe that i will need a farm poyambila. one which is already mechanised and equipped with the necessary infrastructure and livestock.

22/11/2017

OFF SIDE (Drama)
Bakamba just after getting my monthly salary
ine maaaaati pa bondi and went mumalila
ngoma for 1 week and spent my hard earned
zipompo nafi gelo vinangu vinungu!
Bakamba after financial crisis dripped back into
my pocket, I rose up, turned 360 degree and
headed back home as a prodigal husband!
While on the way bakamba naisa pishamo
njebele “ummm if I reach home sober my wife
will start interrogating me ati “mweze kuti,
mwasiya kuti bamba yanu, nga salary ilikuti bla
bla bla...
So I decided to pass via Malole Tarven, top up
3 tins of brown chibuku and then proceeded
home with some dizziness!
Ine ukufika bondi ehhh! Bakamba ukusanga
bondi surrounding well cleaned, ichibumba well
painted, veranda well polished!
Njebele “ehh Na Joe achitika zoona look at
how she has renovated the house?”
Bakamba I kick the front door and pushed
mysel inside but the house arrangement
system inside appeared different!
Shotly a strange face of one fat woman walked
in from outside without knocking!
Bakamba I first looked at this muzimai and
then bursted out njebele “you bloody bad
manners of a woman how do you trespass into
my Inhabitable accommodation without
knocking?”
The woman ati “excuse me Sir?”
Njebele “you are even saying excuse you
mfyoo.. Kamani chita vacate outside with
immediate effect bloody basket!
Bakamba before the poor woman could defend
herself, James Sikapizwe my chibuku drinking
mate at Malole Tarven heard the noise and
came out from my matrimonial bedroom in a
bamba attire while holding the trouser on his
hand!
Bakamba ine upon seeing James mu bamba
coming from my bedroom, bell rung into my
head njebele s**t the chap is from having s*x
with my wife!”
So i screamed out njebele “James!!!” “Uchita
chani ku bedroom yanga!!?” “Mwaice lelo
nakugwila red handed and I know my wife is
still in the bedroom!”
James ati “Bashi Joe nvelani first kaili... this
house is nolonger your..
But before James could finish his statement I
grabbed his trouser from his hand and ran with
it outside as adulterous evidence and started
shouting to rousing neighbors njebele;
“Mwebantu help!!”
“Treason in my house!!!”
Nagwila James red handed sleeping s*x
together with my wife!!!”
“Come and see mwebantu alaa na evidence
ninkwata!!!
“Iseni mumone red handed kuno!!”
Bakamba within sate minutes the all Comboni
trooped pa bondi to see what was happening
with the Section Chairman in forefront!
Some overzealous jobless comboni dweller
already went inside, retrieved James from the
house and gave him several punches into his
intestines but the Section Chairman intervained
and then asked James ati “what are you doing
in Shi Joe house?”
Jame furiously explained ati, “Shi Joe does not
stay here anymore.. am the new tenant and his
wife was chased from the house some 3 days
ago by the Landlord because this ka so called
Shi Joe has not paid rentals for 6 months!!
Ehhh bakamba the entire comboni crew now
turn to me angrily but before they could start
Mike tyson me, ine maaaaaaat 100 degree and
went to locate my wife wherever she could
have shifted to!

22/11/2017

mugabe ruled Zim for 37yrs and 7months.
Now let’s see what Psalms 37 v 7 says...
Solomon was wise but he was brought down,
by a woman. Samson was strong but he was
brought down, by a woman. Robert Mugabe
was tough but he was brought down, by a
woman named Grace. Just be a conscious
man, when you fall in love!😂😂😂😃😃😃😅😅😅

22/11/2017

HERE IS SOMETHING YOU MIGHT HAVE NOT KNOWN ABOUT THE CURRENT ZIM HAPPENINGS!
Robert Mugabe only accepted to step down shortly after having some talks with Dr. Kenneth Kaunda today.
This man has made history again by helping yet another country gain independence.
I personally feel this man deserves a nobel peace price award. What do you think??

21/11/2017

ZAM ON MUMBA YACHI'S DEPORTATION
The Zambia Association of Musicians (ZAM)would like to confirm that musician Mumba Yachi has been deported through Mokambo border post. However, a comprehensive statement will be made at an appropriate time as we wouldn't want to jeopardise the administrative processes regarding his return.
Mumba is currently in Mokambo. He is enjoying good health and understands the current circumstances he is in.
We continue hoping for the best.
Issued by :
Njoya Tembo
ZAM president
ZamupMusic Promoters News & Media Website

20/11/2017

If President Mugabe Refuses To Go They Will Kill Him – Prophet TB Joshua
If President Mugabe Refuses To Go They Will Kill Him – Prophet TB Joshua

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