19/05/2026
Podcast YATU vs everybody
November last year, I suffered an ectopic pregnancy that almost killed me. It raptured and I lost a fallopian tube. I spent so many months in the house closed off from the world, going through PTSD, post natal depression and just misery.
For anyone woman who has ever gone through this, you will understand just how painful and terrible something like that affects your body, self confidence and appearance. Dressing up and looking good was not something that I even wished to do.
Your own body feels like a foreign object. You look down and you see scars, you see the effects of child birth but no baby. You are healing on your own, by yourself with family nursing your wounds with unspoken words of death. You spend a week in a maternity ward surrounded by women who have either lost a child, or going through post natal complications. In that ward, you will never hear the cries of a baby.
Getting up and finally showing up is something that you start to do with the strongest of wills. It's something that you build up slowly. Your body says no but your mind urges you to push forward cause life goes on. So when a friend like Francis from Podcast YATU invites you on their show, you go. You show up, face the world, face the cameras cause we public figures always need to look a certain way right? The same people on the podcast encourage you to speak your mind- which you do. All the words shared on that podcast by me were approved by them.
So as a woman, you do what you have to. You step into their space wearing clothes not out of looking good but comfort. You wear your favorite DOC Martens cause you are comfortable and need something to hide in. You wear your favorite shirt that has a party vibe cause you want to feel fun and positive. You wear your one weave cause the world doesn't know that you haven't had a decent salon visit in months.
You just keep swimming, pushing, and showing up. Slowly, you are now more confident, back to doing things you like, more confident in front of a camera, more power for people to keep seeing you.
As a woman, you show up, you put your best boot forward and just keep going. You start making better content, better videos, better vlogs to brighten peoples days cause you know there is a person who needs to see your videos and smile.
Just keep swimming.
So you stay positive and ignore the hate. Roll your eyes at people still bitter cause you called them out for sleeping with young girls. You already suffered serious loss.
As a woman, even when your world is burning, you show up. You do the job. You deliver the message and just keep swimming. I recorded an entire conversation on camera with my best friend about this a couple of months ago and will share it with you all very soon.
So now, they can say what they want about me, but the storm I went through to be who I am and comfortable with how I look is nothing compared to the opinions of small men whose lives are centered on outer appearances and use the gym as a substitute to get bigger in places God denied them.
For any woman who has gone through this, I am sure you understand and I hope you look at me and see strength and not weakness. Me being present in such spaces when I don't meet the Required perception of societal beauty should make you smile. I g*t you.
Ok, back to the beach for me.
