08/12/2025
If your girlfriend texts you “am outside” instead of “I’m outside,” or hits you with “is okay” instead of “it’s okay,” my brother… just stop. Don’t argue. Don’t fight.
Don’t even breathe near her. She’s cheating.
Not with a rapper. Not even with Chef 187 or Gift Habeenzu from the gym.
Nah… she’s cheating with that guy who failed English so many times that his teacher cried on the last day of school.
That man is out here sending her:
“Gudnyt swit hrt 😘”
…and she’s screenshotting it like it’s the Mona Lisa, saving it in a secret album titled “My King”.
Meanwhile, you’re crafting perfectly punctuated paragraphs like Shakespeare reincarnated:
“I miss you so much, I can’t wait to see you later.”
…and she replies with:
“K.”
But let that illiterate dude hit her with:
“am cuming 😏”
…and suddenly she’s giggling, doing her makeup like she’s preparing for a Vogue cover, and sprinting out the house likMuzala Samukongaga is chasing her.
And then… the horror intensifies. She starts adopting his grammar habits. Next thing you know, she’s texting you:
“is me bae”
…and that’s when the truth hits you: she’s gone.
She’s not yours anymore. She belongs to the dictionary errors. She belongs to the world of apostrophe-less, comma-free, syntax-anarchist dudes.
Moral of the story: if she can’t tell the difference between “am” and “I’m,” don’t fight it.
Just hand her over to the Department of Broken English & Side Ni**as Affairs and move on.
