15/09/2025
Here is a 𝗚𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝘆 of modern (2025) 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗼 that you need to know if you're still "𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘁𝘀".
In the event that you're married but are foolish enough to think you can leave your marriage and get back to dating, well, you may need to know these terms too.
Hereto, a few of the terms. You can add the ones left out.
𝗡𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁: An excessively self indulgent and selfish person who thinks they are the best thing to happen to humanity since Christ.
𝗧𝗼𝗽 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿: close to a narcissist, this is a person who gets into relationship just to exploit people.
𝗣𝘂𝘀𝗵 𝗨𝗽: A person who pushes you up/elevates/upgrades you once you start dating them.
𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗸𝗲𝘆 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴: Always searching for new relationships whilst already in one. Never settled or satisfied. Refers to people who keep looking for new relationships even when they are currently in one.
𝗟𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲: the space between the ideal version of a person and the actual person as they truly are. Lemirence is the chief causer of pain during a heartbreak because your mind holds on to the ideal version of what you thought/wished your ex was vis-a-vis the reality of who they really are.
𝗙𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴: Pretending that you intend to stay and build a future with someone you're in a relationship with when you know deep down you have no intention of staying long in it.
𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗺𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗴: To overwhelm or overdose someone with love/care/affection/attention especially during the early days of a relationship.
𝗦𝗠𝗩: S*xual Market-place Value. This refers to how desirable or how much in demand one is. If you are an older female or have kids for example, your SMV is lower than it was when you were younger & childless.
𝗙𝗠𝗩: Future (S*xual) Market-Place Value.
𝗗𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗱𝗼𝘇𝗲𝗻: Not special/common. Meaning there are many like them they ain't special.
𝗗𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲: A very beautiful lady.
𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗹𝘆: New flame/New Lover/New Bae. Usually used to refer to your Ex's lover.
𝗗𝗼𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗦 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗯𝗼: A combination of S*x and a Sob story. Refers to a situation where once you start dating someone & sleeping with them suddenly you hear they are behind on their bills. This one uses s*x to get you to give them money. It's prostitution lite. They use s*x and a sob story to get money out of you.
𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸: Usually refers to a male who uses money to hire women for short term s*xual encounters. Also refers to a promiscuous person.
𝗣𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗺𝗲: a woman who seeks male approval by rejecting traditionally feminine traits.
𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗧: Pr******te. THOT is an abbreviation for That Ho3 Over There.
𝟯𝟬𝟰: Pr******te
𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀: Sele/bums
𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗽 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀: Lula lula/kudya rice/kudya bota/kunwa tea/to have s*x. Usually used by males eg I clapped her cheeks.
𝗛𝘆𝗲𝗻𝗮: An older bitter single female who is usually a divorcee or never married. Usually the ones that encourage others females to get divorced and give bad/toxic advice all round.
𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 you really ought to stay in your home, work on your marriage and make it what you desire or some such.
But if you still believe in miracles or envy your single friends when you see them in exotic places, on boats or beaches in Dubai and you're silly enough to think such a perfectly choreographed life also awaits you out here, then OK.
Ain't nothing for you in these streets munhuwashe, the 2025 dating scene is cooked, kurikupiswa munhu, maHeartbreak isaruraude.
This ain't 2015 when you were still dating, now there are only hyenas, vultures, foxes, wolves and worse. But you're stubborn ka iwe, OK huyai mumaStreets muzvionere, so you can regret wrecking your own marriage zvakanaka.
If you think there is some angel sent down from heaven to wait for a date a divorced person then ok. Drag that overweight cellulite riddled body with that Jojo tank plus love handles. Those flabby cheeks and man b***s. Oh wait, and the kids and all other baggage. You think someone is ouchea waiting to date that huh.
