Tinotenda Samukange

Tinotenda Samukange If the map doesn't agree with the ground the map is wrong.

“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.”

The question isn’t what I did wrong. The question is whether I ever stood a chance, or if this crocodile was always goin...
31/05/2026

The question isn’t what I did wrong. The question is whether I ever stood a chance, or if this crocodile was always going to eat the farm, flood the plan, and blame the rain. At this point, I’m just pi**ed and taking notes.

📰 𝗪𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗳’𝘀 𝗙𝗿𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝟯𝟬 𝗙𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗢𝗽𝗲𝗻-𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗻 𝗛𝗼usingThis weekend Harare’s quiet suburb of Whitecliff ...
31/05/2026

📰 𝗪𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗳’𝘀 𝗙𝗿𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝟯𝟬 𝗙𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗢𝗽𝗲𝗻-𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗻 𝗛𝗼using

This weekend Harare’s quiet suburb of Whitecliff got “renovated.” No architects. No permits. Just bulldozers, riot police, and 300 families learning that “home” is temporary if you don’t know the right people.

The Sales Pitch: “Fully Regularised”

From 2020, families moved onto Stand 10139 along Bulawayo Road. Cooperative leaders showed up with liberation names, official-looking letters, and the magic word: “regularisation is underway.”

Civil servants, vendors, single moms paid cash, month after month. Brick by brick, they built the Zimbabwean dream. One problem: Eddie Pfugaris Properties kept saying, “That’s our land.” Cooperatives kept saying, “Don’t worry about them.”

The Plot Twist: 8 Nov 2024

Ministry of Transport quietly withdraws permission. Court order appears. Bulldozers arrive. 5 years of saving, 5 minutes of demolition. Houses become rubble. Savings become dust. Compensation? That part got “misplaced.”

*How The Magic Trick Works*
Whitecliff isn’t a mistake. It’s a business model Zimbabwe perfected years ago:
1. Politically connected land barons + cooperative “leaders” sell stands they don’t own
2. Desperate home seekers buy, build, vote, hope
3. Election season = “We’ll protect you”
4. After elections = “Oops, those are illegal structures”

A 2019 government inquiry already wrote this script: MPs creating new settlements for votes, elites using top party names to bully councils, land barons pocketing millions. Whitecliff just got the 2024 remake.

Selective Justice: The Real Superpower

Police can flatten 300 houses before lunch. But finding one land baron? That’s a 5-year investigation. ZACC occasionally arrests a few ZANU-PF officials for headlines, but the cartel keeps selling.

Law in Zimbabwe is like Harare traffic: fast when demolishing your house, slow when chasing the guy who sold it to you.

The Human Math

“Illegal structures” = grandmothers raising orphans. Teachers who saved 10 years for one room. Vendors who skipped meals to buy cement. People who did everything right except trust the wrong smile.

Same story as Budiriro 2020. Same tears, new postcode.

Coming Soon To A Suburb Near You

Harare Council says 22,000 “illegal stands” exist. 5,000+ houses are on the demolition list: Kuwadzana, Budiriro, Glen View, Belvedere. If the bulldozers work overtime, we’ll have more homeless Zimbabweans than council houses.

The Fix Nobody Will Try

Bulldozers don’t stop land barons. They just create more victims. What would work:
1. Pause demolitions. Audit who actually sold what, and to who.
2. Arrest the sellers, not just crush the buyers’ beds.
3. Put land allocation online. If everyone can see it, nobody can fake it.

Malema Says Zimbabweans Didn't Invent Unemployment, Capitalism DidBOKSBURG  In a development that may disappoint those w...
31/05/2026

Malema Says Zimbabweans Didn't Invent Unemployment, Capitalism Did

BOKSBURG In a development that may disappoint those who believe every pothole, power outage and missing job application can be traced back to a Zimbabwean crossing the Limpopo, EFF leader Julius Malema has delivered a reality check: migrants are not the architects of South Africa's economic woes.

Speaking at the South African Communist Party's Conference of the Left, Malema suggested that South Africans looking for the mastermind behind unemployment should perhaps stop interrogating street vendors and start examining the economy itself.

According to Malema, poor Africans from Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Nigeria, Somalia and elsewhere have somehow acquired mythical powers in public discourse. They are blamed for unemployment, collapsing services, crime, overcrowded hospitals, traffic congestion, and, if social media is to be believed, possibly bad weather.
"Poor Africans are not responsible for unemployment, inequality or collapsing public services," Malema declared, in a statement likely to trigger several WhatsApp groups simultaneously.

The EFF leader argued that migrants did not privatise state capacity, concentrate ownership of land, or design an economy that struggles to create jobs. He pointed out that it would be difficult for a Zimbabwean street vendor to secretly control South Africa's financial sector while simultaneously selling tomatoes on a pavement.

Instead, Malema reserved his criticism for capitalism, which he accused of performing exactly as advertised: generating enormous wealth for a select few while encouraging everyone else to compete for the remaining crumbs.

He painted a bleak picture of a world where technology advances at lightning speed, yet millions remain unemployed; where productivity soars, but wages barely move; and where society somehow produces billionaires and food insecurity in the same neighbourhood.

Meanwhile, South Africa's unemployment figures remain stubbornly high. Official unemployment sits above 32%, while expanded unemployment exceeds 43%. Youth unemployment remains so severe that obtaining a qualification increasingly feels like receiving a beautifully framed invitation to join the queue.

Malema warned that blaming migrants for these realities amounts to what he called "Afrophobia"a convenient political shortcut that redirects public anger away from economic structures and towards vulnerable foreigners.

After all, blaming a struggling migrant for unemployment is considerably easier than explaining why an economy with abundant resources and decades of democratic rule still struggles to provide opportunities for millions.

The EFF leader also used the occasion to take a swipe at the ANC, arguing that the former liberation movement increasingly behaves like a landlord surprised to discover other political parties have keys to the building.

He suggested that some ANC leaders had become so accustomed to political dominance that they began mistaking the organisation for liberation itself.

The conference, attended by representatives from various left-wing formations, was intended to strengthen cooperation among organisations seeking alternatives to the current economic order. Whether it succeeds remains to be seen.

What is clear is that South Africa's debate over immigration is unlikely to end soon. One side insists migrants are the source of the country's problems.
The other insists the problems were already here and merely found convenient scapegoats.

For now, Zimbabweans can at least celebrate one small victory: according to Malema, they are no longer being held personally responsible for South Africa's unemployment crisis.

The load-shedding schedule, however, remains under investigation.

Our Gaffa, who stand upon the stage,Hallowed be thy name.Thy riddims rise,Thy message resound,Through the streets and th...
28/05/2026

Our Gaffa, who stand upon the stage,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy riddims rise,
Thy message resound,
Through the streets and the ghettos alike.

Grant us this day our daily fire,
And forgive those who doubted the movement,
As we forgive those
Who never understood the message within the lyrics.

Lead us not into silence,
But deliver us through conscious music.

For thine is the microphone,
The vigilance, and the legacy,
Now and forevermore.

Amen.

MACHAKAIRE DISCOVERS PEACE, JUST AS CHIVAYO DISCOVERS POLICE CELLS FOR IN-LAWSZimbabweans woke up this week to discover ...
25/05/2026

MACHAKAIRE DISCOVERS PEACE, JUST AS CHIVAYO DISCOVERS POLICE CELLS FOR IN-LAWS

Zimbabweans woke up this week to discover that Cabinet ministers can, in fact, subtweet.

Youth Minister Tino Machakaire entered the country’s latest reality show Keeping Up With The Chivayos with what appeared to be a carefully wrapped sermon on fatherhood, respect and the revolutionary idea that elderly women should perhaps not experience prison food during family disputes.

Without mentioning businessman Wicknell Chivayo by name, Machakaire delivered what social media users quickly translated from “politician language” into plain English:

“Guys, maybe let us not arrest the gogo.”

The drama began after Chivayo’s former wife, Sonja Madzikanda, and her mother, Tabitha, were arrested over allegations involving cybercrime, digital content and images linked to South African President Cyril Ramaphosa because apparently ordinary breakups are now too basic for the political economy of Southern Africa.

The scandal escalated after images circulated online allegedly showing Chivayo with Ramaphosa ahead of the South African leader’s Zimbabwe visit.

Ramaphosa’s office later clarified they were not longtime buddies casually sharing braai meat and business tips before the trip.

Meanwhile, Zimbabweans watched in fascination as a domestic dispute somehow evolved into a crossover episode featuring AI-generated images, presidential diplomacy, police intervention, trust funds and public humiliation all before lunchtime on X.

Chivayo defended the arrests and later triumphantly announced that his former mother-in-law had “learnt a lesson” after spending days in custody, proving once again that Zimbabwean billionaires and medieval kings occasionally share the same communication strategy.

Then came Machakaire.

“As a father…” began the minister, in the same tone usually used before pastors rebuke sinners without naming them directly.

He spoke about honouring women, respecting families and avoiding the misuse of influence against women and the elderly a statement many citizens interpreted as the closest thing Zimbabwean politics has to firing warning shots into the air.
The minister also reminded the nation that children learn from conduct, not words.

A profound observation indeed, especially at a time when many children are learning:
how to trend on X,
how to identify AI-generated images,
and how quickly family meetings can escalate into cybercrime investigations.

Political analysts say Machakaire’s comments were significant because senior officials rarely intervene publicly when politically connected businessmen are involved unless somebody somewhere is beginning to feel the heat from public opinion.

Ordinary Zimbabweans, meanwhile, remain confused but entertained, unsure whether they are witnessing:
a family dispute,
a political scandal,
a Netflix pitch,
or simply another Tuesday in Zimbabwe.

At press time, citizens were advised to avoid:
posting photos,
dating wealthy tenderpreneurs,
and arguing with anyone who has both lawyers and WiFi.

17/05/2026
17/05/2026

Promote a smile

Ko anonzi Malloti ndianiko? Emmerson Dambudzo Mnangagwa Don't allow this trash to wash away your legacy. Hayaa from the ...
13/05/2026

Ko anonzi Malloti ndianiko? Emmerson Dambudzo Mnangagwa Don't allow this trash to wash away your legacy. Hayaa from the stories and current presentation uum.

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