Rabbit Troop Sucks, Denver, CO (2026)

06/11/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! The Last Starfighter (1984):

Alex (Lance Guest) dreams of big opportunities and a better life away from the trailer park he is currently living in. He’s denied a loan to attend the university of his choice, and this bums him out – big time! He then spends his night dominating the high score and beating a Starfighter arcade game. His girlfriend, Maggie (Catherine Mary Stewart), is VERY impressed! Nice moves, Alex! Little did everyone know that this arcade machine was actually a recruiting tool to find the best starfighters for real Gunstar spaceships. The inventor of Starfighter, Centauri (Robert Preston), rolls up in a future-mobile and a robot/Beta to sweep Alex away to the cosmos. Alex teams up with a good-humored pilot, Grig (Dan O’Herlihy), and together they will save Rylos or die trying. RTS checks out all the amenities that the Star League has to offer. Their craft services are solid! Jeremy is not about “victory or death.” He takes the first space bus outta this joint. La-Mar unleashes the Death Blossom from the start! Pew Pew! Are you the chosen one? Do you need to get into a star fight? Probably! The galaxy needs you!

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06/04/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! Beverly Hills Ninja (1997):

There is a legend that there will be a great white ninja. When a ninja clan finds a child in a chest that has washed ashore, they raise him, Haru (Chris Farley), to become this legendary warrior. Unfortunately, Haru is as clumsy as can be and lacks the majority of skills (in most things). He does have a can-do attitude though. Haru is hired for a mission by Sally Jones (Nicollette Sheridan). Off to America he goes! Haru’s Sensei (Soon-Tek Oh) sends his best student, Gobei (Robin Shou), to look after Haru and aid in the mission. Silliness and many broken things will follow. RTS definitely knows when something has been or not been made by ninjas. Jeremy trains with Joey (Chris Rock) and a chicken on the loose. La-Mar has “traveled many miles and now [has] come disguised as a pimp to help you.” Collin shows us his belt. The blackness is intense! It’s “like the inside of a coffin on a moonlight night.” Don’t be led by the short sword and connect to the plane of enlightenment. “Holy Shinto!”

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05/29/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! Why Me? (1990):

Do you have a case of the Byzantine Fire? Well, you should probably consult a medical professional about that. Jewel thief Gus Cardinale (Christopher Lambert) steals this coveted ruby amongst jewelry and diamonds. Gus’ partner Bruno (Christopher Lloyd) is delighted about their heist. Money is to be made! June (Kim Greist) is really hot and cold about it all. Also, she is Bruno’s daughter. Also, she is dating Gus. Could it get more complicated? Yes! Now, everyone wants ol’ B-Fire – this incudes Chief Inspector Francis Mahoney (J.T. Walsh), the Turkish government, terrorists and many more. RTS pitches an entire line of Lambert products. Special gatherings will never be the same. Jeremy tries to out-profane J.T. Walsh. It’s impossible! La-Mar lifts and swings a sack of cash – all one-dollar bills! Let’s take this to the local arcade. While everyone in the city is fighting among themselves, Collin goes with the old tried and tested smash and grab method. It works! If you get caught up in any of this, you might be asking “why me?”

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05/22/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! The Nice Guys (2016):

In 1977, through a strange series of events, tough guy for hire, Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe), and PI Holland March (Ryan Gosling) team up to find a missing girl, Amelia (Margaret Qualley), and to unravel a mystery with a dead p**n star. Somehow these two manage to get things done – most likely because Holland’s daughter, Holly (Angourie Rice), is the most sensible amongst them. In the background there are fights, conspiracies, acts of government corruption, strange protests against the air, John Boy (Matt Bomer) is gun happy and on the loose and there are glamorous p**n star parties in mansions. RTS avoids falling from balconies, rooftops, etc… Jeremy cracks open a nice cold Yoohoo. It puts a slight dance in his step. La-Mar makes sure his cookie jar is full of bullets. You never know. Collin learns that all cars drive themselves. Just let go. If things get out of control, grab the ankle gun in your dreams.

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05/14/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! Welcome to Collinwood (2002):

How could we not check this film out? Collin has welcomed us all – to his wooden ways. Cosimo (Greendale Community College Alum, Luis Guzmán) gets locked up and learns about the perfect heist from his cellmate. He just needs to get out to do it. He confides in his gal pal Rosalind (Patricia Clarkson) which leads to everyone knowing and wanting a piece for themselves. This includes Pero (Sam Rockwell), Riley (William H. Macy), Leon (Isaiah Washington) and Toto (Michael Jeter). This makes Cosimo angry, and he has a lot to say about everyone’s mothers. In the background, there’s a bit of romance between Pero and Carmela (Jennifer Esposito). Will anyone care? George Clooney is even doing some stuff here. RTS knows when there’s a real Bellini on the table. This isn’t it. Jeremy considers being a Mullinski but the price has to be just right. La-Mar finds hidden treasures in the cookie jar. Collin has already given you everything. He has welcomed you. Isn’t that enough for you? Don’t let this turn into a real Kapuchnik.

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05/07/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! The Barbarians (1987):

In a fantasy land, it all comes down to who can control a magic ruby. You know a bunch of villains want this thing! Canary (Virgina Bryant) is taken captive by Kadar (Richard Lynch), and her band of traveling entertainers are either killed, or they have scattered into the woods. Luckily, Canary has hidden the ruby, but for how long will it stay secure? Enter the twin hunky boy glisten show! Gore (David Paul) and Kutchek (Peter Paul) traveled with Canary and were separated as kids. Once they reconnect and fight it out a bit, they decide to escape and to become do-gooders. Along the way, they meet up with Ismene (Eva LaRue) who has her own backstory going on. As the three travel together, evil beware! RTS loves obtaining magical weapons to fight a swamp dragon. GOO! Jeremy does and doesn’t want you to know about his mini crossbow. La-Mar develops a plan with China (Sheeba Alahani) to get the ruby for themselves. Get your swamp boots ready! Collin starts putting the ruby everywhere and on everyone to see if it glows. Eventually, it does! See ya at the harem.

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04/30/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! Passenger 57 (1992):

Authorities have finally caught international terrorist Charles Rane (Bruce Payne). The best thing to do is book him on a nice first-class flight to L.A. Seems like this guy needs a steak and a fun in-flight film. John Cutter (Wesley Snipes) has just accepted a new position in an anti-terrorism unit, and he is undercover on this flight. So, inevitably when this all goes bonkers quickly, Cutter will be on the case. He will also bicker with Marti (Alex Datcher) while terrorism runs rampant. It’s all about priorities. Sly Delvecchio (Tom Sizemore) looms in the background. RTS deboards the plane and immediately heads to the fairgrounds with Elizabeth Hurley. Let’s win her an oversized stuffed animal. Jeremy has a corndog and some funnel cake on a Ferris wheel. If there’s room, he might have a beer and a bratwurst later. La-Mar makes sure to order his airline sirloin bloody. It becomes questionable. Brendt goes reverse-Commando on a plane. He also updates his turquoise earring collection. Do you think most of this film will be on a plane? You’ll be betting on red if that is the case.

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04/23/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! Cobra (1986):

A gang of hoodlums is being led by the infamous Night Slasher (Brian Thompson). They all seem directionless in their crime plans. There are a lot of axes clinking to signify their unity. Kind of a weird scene here. Nevertheless, there is only one man who can save this city – maybe even the nation, Marion Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone). “Call the Cobra.” If you’ve seen this guy cut a slice of pizza with some scissors, then you know what is needed. Now, Cobra must protect a witness, Ingrid (Brigitte Nielsen) to end the crimes. All the crimes! Along the way, you will learn where the law stops and Cobra starts. He’ll even tell people that! RTS learns that Cobra doesn’t like lousy shots, diseases, profanity in public or poor manners. Respect! La-Mar goes on many candy runs with Cobra’s partner, Gonzales (Reni Santoni). We’re going to get some Whatchamacallits and ZAGNUTs up in here. Collin starts constructing a little book of puns and snappy one-liners. Cobra pays him handsomely for this work. Do these baddies even have a plan? The answer to that is no. We’ll see you all at the fire factory.

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04/16/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! New York Ninja (1984/2021):

This film was shot in 1984. When it was retrieved, there was no sound or script. Vinegar Syndrome found this film and put it back together. A new cast has dubbed this film, and this was then released in 2021. What we are given as an audience is pure New York Ninja awesomeness! RTS even takes a field trip to view this one. John Liu (played by John Liu and dubbed by Don Wilson) is just a fella living his life. A bunch of street thugs kill his pregnant wife, and then John becomes sad. Very forlorn! Only one thing to do! Become a ninja and seek vengeance upon all criminals in New York. Good thing because The Plutonium Killer (voiced by Michael Berryman) is melting people (and himself), women are being abducted and fear is sweeping through New York. Along the way, John will befriend a kid and unify a city with their love of the ninja! RTS appreciates monogrammed throwing stars. We need to update our merch. Jeremy tosses powder bags into everyone’s face – guilty or not! BAM! Powder bag! Collin picks up roller-skating based on this film. We didn’t see that coming. And you won’t see a ninja in white coming either! That’s just a cloud.

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04/09/2026

Tonight at midnight/this Friday! Big Trouble in Little China (1986):

A sweet, elderly gentleman, David Lo Pan (James Hong), simply wants a date. He has a reasonable kink, green eyes. People laugh at him. Can’t a (evil sorcerer) romantic find happiness? Meanwhile, Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) hangs out with his friend Wang (Dennis Dun) for a long night of drinking and an early airport run. Wang loses his love. Jack also loses his love, his truck. So much trouble! Is this story more about Chinese mysticism and world ending consequences or an old man’s attempt at love? RTS learns that there might not be an “off switch” on the Lo Pan lamp. It’s a thing! Jeremy saddles up and rustles up a “firm” howdy to Gracie Law (Kim Cattrall). La-Mar samples the cuisine over at Uncle Chu’s (Chao Li Chi). Positive reviews! Collin teams up with Egg Shen (Victor Wong) and uses five out of the six demons in the bag. You better watch out; he’s got one left for you! Brent brews and serves some gourd juice. You will now become smoke and dream. It will get, um, interesting. Check out this amazing John Carpenter flick! You need to remember that “you were not brought upon this world to ‘get it’” and listen to the Porkchop Express. Green flames!

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