Itazazel’s Reliquary

09/25/2026

“I'll live on and carry your name
And be what you always thought I could be
I hope we meet at the end
But I'll never forgive the world for taking my best friend”🎶

09/25/2026

“This path I walk is comforting
But now I'm left to sing this song alone
I'm fading faster now
It's time to walk away with nothing left
Nothing left in my soul
I'm fading into myself”🎶

Whitechapel

09/25/2026

“Why is it always stormy weather?
And, brother, tell me if it all gets better
Why did you leave? Why did you die?
You finally made your grandson cry

I know you're watching over from above
So hold on to the ones you love
Your soul is free, I love you” 🫶😢

09/25/2026

“So many reasons to live
I need to let them show
I've made the hardest mistakes
I need to let them go”

09/25/2026

Finally home from work.

Today was probably the hardest shift I’ve ever worked, not gonna lie. The second I got in the car and saw my fiancée, I finally let out everything I’d been holding in. I’m doing a little better now, but every time I stop moving or working on something, it hits me like a freight train all over again.

My coworkers did everything they could to make the shift as stress-free as possible. One of them even got me the scorpion I’d been looking at as an early birthday gift. Definitely wasn’t because of what happened today, but somehow it ended up being a pretty comforting distraction. I think I’m gonna name him Poppy or Hanson. Hanson was my grandpa’s middle name, and we actually shared the same first name. We always called him Poppy instead of Grandpa, so it feels fitting.

And seriously, thank you to everyone who reached out today. I couldn’t respond right away because I was at work, but seeing everyone show up with messages, condolences, and prayers meant more than I can really put into words.

I’ve spent a lot of my life being a lone-wolf type and keeping things to myself. I’m trying to get better at opening up and being more social, and today reminded me why that matters. Seeing my friends come together for me during one of the hardest days I’ve had really helped me make it through that shift.

I have to be back at work in about 5 hours for truck, so I’m gonna finish getting Poppy/Hanson’s quarantine setup ready, make sure he’s comfortable for the night, and hopefully get some sleep.

Thank you all. Seriously. Goodnight guys❤️

09/24/2026

Taken July 31, 2021 the last time I got to see you.

“You were the shadow to my light
Did you feel us?
Another star
You fade away
Afraid our aim is out of sight
Wanna see us
Alight

Where are you now?”

09/24/2026

https://youtu.be/60ItHLz5WEA?is=LKBMyaYH_PaUl9bE

🎵Alan Walker, Ava Max - FATE (Official Lyric Video)🎵https://youtu....

09/24/2026

I just got the phone call I never wanted to get.
I’ll miss you grandpa. I’m not okay. I won’t be okay. I didnt get to say goodbye to the man who made me who I am today. My eponym. My best friend. The one person who was always there for me and the one goddamn time he needed me there I couldn’t be. I’m heading offline. Into work. I am hollow. I don’t wanna be here anymore honestly. Life is never fair. Esp to the good ones like him.

Go hug your grandparents. Go visit your family. Not seeing mine for so long has made me hollow. Empty. A shell. Null.

09/24/2026

No funny today sorry guys.
I need good vibes though, my grandpa is not doin good at all. My mom’s on the way to Dallas to try to get there in time to say goodbye bc that’s how it’s honestly looking. I can’t afford to take a sporadic flight down to Texas right now so I’m really not okay. Haven’t visited my family in 5 years due to work/and life situations here happening(which is why I’ve been moody the last 2-3 years) he’s survived literal wars, multiple heart attacks, multiple heart issues they run in my family. Sorry for dumping but I’m not okay. At all. I’m literally named after that man and now I gotta go to work knowing he’s probably gonna leave us this time and I’m 1700 miles away and I’m legit just gonna go hollow if I’m being honest. The fact with how things look I won’t be able to go say goodbye for another year or two at this point and that’s not fu***ng cool.

09/23/2026

Where the weebs at. Re-releasing all my Naruto/bleach OST trap remixes this week. Go sub or join my discord do you don’t miss out! 🖤