Beehive Bugle

04/01/2023

Big things happening in Happy Valley.

04/01/2023

Happy Gen Con y’all. This one’s gonna be a banger.

01/21/2020

12/25/2019

More people than ever are having their faith in Santa shaken by these shocking revelations.

Claus has amassed about $100 billion in toys, gifts, non-perishable sugar-plums, gift cards, and other fun-gible funds intended for merrimentable purposes.

12/24/2019

IN HIS WORDS: SuperDell on the War on Christmas

"While government-controlled anti-Christ schools teach of Before Christ and After Christ, they refuse to teach about Jesus Christ. They teach the Big Bang Theory and evolution, but absolutely censor any truth and reality to be taught. While the theories are just theories that are totally made up and don’t make any sense, history books written on several different continents all talk of Jesus Christ."

http://beehivebugle.com/2015/12/24/in-his-words-superdell-on-the-war-on-christmas/

🌲🎅

While government-controlled anti-Christ schools teach of Before Christ and After Christ, they refuse to teach about Jesus Christ.

12/23/2019

“I think I’ve been walking around willfully blind for a while now,” the devastated child reported.

"I think I've been walking around willfully blind for a while now," the devastated child reported.

12/20/2019

Hip Company Rents Star Wars Theater For Employees They’ll Lay Off In a Few Months

"All-you-can-eat popcorn and a costume contest, what is this, WORK?" said a prematurely content Natalia Rosenwright, a web developer without a functioning resume.

Employees of ultra-hip HeavIn arrived in droves to the midday showing of Star Wars courtesy of the quirky upstart which will deliver fateful news of termination to all a few months from now. “I love working here! From the five Lord of the Rings-themed ping-pong tables to the self-serve Lucky Charm...

12/06/2019

SLC Mayor Biskupski Strikes Deal With Dyson to Clean Up Inversion

Dyson’s cutting edge status on the front of air technology will now be increased many orders of magnitude to clean the city of its smog.

12/05/2019

GLOBAL HEARTWARMING: Climate change getting you down? Then check out these adorable dogs who are sure to warm your heart as much as the climate.

If climate change is getting you down, check out these adorable dogs, who are sure to warm your heart as much as the climate.

11/15/2019

“As God as my witness, I tell you that canyon is teeming with gold. Teeming!”

Jacobs says his conclusion is based on his findings from panning Mill Creek, as well as a “strong gut feeling.”

11/08/2019

“Rest assured, in seven years Jazz fans can expect a healthy Exum to dazzle on the court."

“Rest assured, in seven years Jazz fans can expect a healthy Exum to dazzle on the court," Utah Jazz General Manager Justin Zanik said.

10/25/2018

Why Doesn’t The Salt Lake Tribune Just Marry Mia Love?

"The Salt Lake Tribune went undercover on Operation Mia’s Grand in an attempt to ensure Ben McAdams would have no way to ever enter the House."

The Salt Lake Tribune became a heart-fluttering salivating mess in what can only be described as You Might As Well Propose To Her, You Silly Goose after the SLTrib endorsed two-term incumbent Rep. Mia Love’s reelection candidacy for Congress. Sources said that ‘cupid’ still rhymes with ‘stup...