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09/04/2026

Fun Fact: The Pittsburgh Pirates are the only MLB team (besides the Angels) that Mike Trout hasn't homered against.

Wild, right?

What a week for youth football.Adults fought in front of third-graders. A parent filmed it. The video went national.Then...
09/04/2026

What a week for youth football.

Adults fought in front of third-graders. A parent filmed it. The video went national.

Then came suspensions, permanent bans, three coaches charged, eight people found to have violated league rules, organizational probation - and somehow, three official statements.

Third-grade football now has better crisis communications than most Pittsburgh governments.

The league says this wasn’t one bad afternoon. Investigators reviewed earlier footage and found a pattern of behavior.

That’s the part that matters.

The camera didn’t create the problem. It made the problem impossible to ignore.

Welcome to oneBURGH Youth Sports Fighting Crisis Management.

When the adults need a timeout.

The kids played football.

Everyone lost.

09/04/2026

Konnor Griffin returns to the Pittsburgh Pirates lineup tonight. It’s not over - yet.

FanGraphs gives the Bucs a 2.0% playoff probability. Baseball Reference .6%. FanDuel about 2.4%.

oneBURGH Mascots: Slippery Rock University started with Spot, an actual dog. Cute. Normal. Completely acceptable.Apparen...
09/04/2026

oneBURGH Mascots: Slippery Rock University started with Spot, an actual dog. Cute. Normal. Completely acceptable.

Apparently, everyone involved found that boring.

Next came Rocket Man, a grown man in tights who looked like Batman had been booked for a fire hall fundraiser.

Then came Rocky the Rock, a walking kidney stone held together with a pillow, fishing line and the confidence of a university that knew nobody could stop it.

Rocky II followed. He was technically a lion, but looked more like the final creature you encounter before being dragged into hell.

Today we have Corporate Rocky - polished, presentable and ready to lead a mandatory seminar on workplace synergy.

Here is the insane part: every mascot era produced a winning football record.

Spot: .647
Rocket Man: .524
Rocky the Rock: .585
Scary Rocky: .547
Corporate Rocky: .729

Since current Rocky arrived in 2007, Slippery Rock has gone 159–59. That winning percentage is better than Pitt’s Roc and WVU’s Mountaineer over the same period. Only Ohio State’s Brutus - a giant nut wearing a striped shirt - ranks higher. Impressive!

Different divisions. Different schedules. Please relax. This is mascot science.

There are five SRU home dates remaining and five historic mascots.

Give each one a game. Then put the entire fever dream on the field together for the finale.

Bring them all back immediately.

09/04/2026

The Pittsburgh Botanic Garden is a prime spot to HAVE FUN in a magical environment. Dining at the Canopy Cafe, taking a class, painting, and even TRYING to throw hula hoops on a dinosaur sculpture.

oneBURGH River: We have the actual paperwork to rename the Ohio River the Pittsburgh River.This is no longer just a dumb...
09/04/2026

oneBURGH River: We have the actual paperwork to rename the Ohio River the Pittsburgh River.

This is no longer just a dumb internet campaign.

It is now a dumb internet campaign with a 13-page federal form.

The U.S. Board on Geographic Names will consider a proposal, but it wants a compelling reason, supporting materials and evidence of local support.

Our compelling reason is simple:

The river starts in Pittsburgh.Ohio is downstream. That is not naming rights. That is geography.

The process costs nothing and takes at least six months, which makes it a rare government bargain. Free, except for the time, paperwork and dignity.

We have already ordered 2,000 “I SUPPORT THE PITTSBURGH RIVER” stickers. DM us

We have also contacted local political leaders. Replies so far: zero. Because of the holiday weekend, we are giving them until Tuesday before becoming unreasonable.

Now we need an official name for the organization behind the proposal.

Current nominees include:

The Pittsburgh River Authority

The Department of River Corrections

Yinzers for Aquatic Accuracy

Pittsburghers Against Ohio Credit

The Ohio Removal Committee

The Very Serious Pittsburgh River People

We know Pittsburgh can do dumber.

Put your official organization name in the comments. The winner could appear on campaign materials and correspondence with the federal government.

The river starts here.

The bureaucracy starts now.

oneBURGH Kick: Kaleb Johnson believes one kickoff mistake changed his entire Steelers career. It also probably took 4 ye...
09/04/2026

oneBURGH Kick: Kaleb Johnson believes one kickoff mistake changed his entire Steelers career. It also probably took 4 years off every person's life who was watching the game.

Picture it! Week 2 against Seattle, Johnson allowed a kickoff to bounce into the end zone because he thought the play was dead. The ball was still live. Seattle recovered it for a touchdown, and Johnson never returned another kickoff for Pittsburgh.

Johnson is not blaming everyone else. He gave the Steelers credit for drafting him. He acknowledged the kickoff mistake. He admitted that everything went downhill afterward.

His opportunities on offense weren’t much better. The 2025 third-round pick finished his rookie season with 69 rushing yards on 28 carries across 10 games.

Now he’s headed to Green Bay after the Steelers traded him for a sixth-round pick in 2028.

Pittsburgh drafted him No. 83 overall and barely let him play long enough to determine whether he could play.

One bad decision became his entire Steelers story. Now Green Bay gets the reset.

Good luck, Kaleb. Just pick up the ball.

This Friday, Free Store Wilkinsburg is looking for volunteers to help distribute fresh produce to community members.Volu...
09/04/2026

This Friday, Free Store Wilkinsburg is looking for volunteers to help distribute fresh produce to community members.

Volunteers will help bag produce, get things set up, hand out food, and pitch in wherever they’re needed.

📍 619 Penn Avenue, Wilkinsburg
📅 Friday, September 4
⏰ 11–3:30 PM

Find out more and sign up here:

https://pittsburghcares.galaxydigital.com/need/detail/?need_id=885640

WPIAL football officially has a Thursday night prime-time game.SportsNet Pittsburgh will broadcast eight games this seas...
09/03/2026

WPIAL football officially has a Thursday night prime-time game.

SportsNet Pittsburgh will broadcast eight games this season, complete with a pregame show, television cameras and coaches wearing headsets like the Steelers are about to call and offer somebody a job.

This week, Moon travels to Bethel Park.

Yes, high school football is now on Thursday nights. Friday Night Lights has apparently expanded its inventory.

Next season, North Hills and North Allegheny will play in Paris. Al Michaels will call the game. The Eiffel Tower will be painted black and gold.

This is all moving very quickly.

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